


apricity (a false life in warm arms)

by motsiparul



Series: apricity & aestus [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Angst, F/M, POV Zuko (Avatar), Post-Canon, Southern Water Tribe, zuko in the southern water tribe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-10-12
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:55:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 28,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26581750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/motsiparul/pseuds/motsiparul
Summary: While in the Southern Water Tribe, he wouldn’t be able to receive any news from the Fire Nation until the time arrived when he inevitably would have to return. Zuko wondered if, at least for the time being, that gave him the possibility to just forget about his real life and indulge in what he had there.A false life, in the cold South Pole. A made up and ephemeral life, near warm Katara.(or, Fire Lord Zuko is forced to hide in the Southern Water Tribe from a terrorist group that wants to depose him while Katara is trying to manage the Tribe in the absence of her family)
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: apricity & aestus [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1968040
Comments: 18
Kudos: 105





	1. of whites and forgetfulness

**Author's Note:**

> The idea of Zuko living in the Southern Water Tribe wouldn't leave my mind, so I decided to do something about it.

> apricity (n.): The warmth of the Sun in winter.

It was the middle of autumn and the sun wasn’t as warm as it had been one month before. Zuko’s office was getting dark as the sun set. Zuko was seated on his desk and in front of him there was Suki, the captain of his personal guard, and Lord Zhou, his Minister of State, who were explaining him their latest plan.

Zuko listened carefully, fixing his eyes on the papers in front of him, but he was starting to have a headache and that made it difficult to concentrate on their words.

Suddenly they finished their explanation. Zuko looked up and found both of them looking at him expectantly, waiting for some sort of answer.

“We’re not doing that,” Zuko simply said, no intonation in his voice. Although Suki and Minister Zhou were looking at him completely serious, the plan seemed to be a joke.

“But Sir, think about it. It is a very good idea,” Minister Zhou pressed, lounging forward in his chair and opening his eyes insistently. Suki nodded from her place next to the Minister.

Zuko rubbed his eyes and sighed. Ever since he had been crowned Fire Lord nearly ten years ago, he had been trying to carry out several reforms so as to democratize the Fire Nation and its government.

This had polarized society. Some people had celebrated these changes, seeing in this process a way of ensuring that something akin to the Hundred Year War would never happen again. Other people, on the other hand, had seen this as a perversion of the Fire Nation and its principles, and had opposed the reforms strongly.

There had appeared a new terrorist group that wanted him out of the throne. This situation reminded Zuko of the defunct New Ozai Society, which had attempted to assassinate him in the early years of his reign. However, this new terrorist group was more enigmatic and also more difficult to trace than the latter. Of course they knew that the group wanted to get rid of Zuko, but not their exact intentions after achieving it.

Zuko believed he was handling the situation better than years ago, but the stress and worry that crept up him was impossible to combat. The worse time was at night, where he could only wait for the day to return to continue working. He did sleep some, but his sleep was light and he couldn’t rest much.

And now Suki and Minister Zhou wanted him to get out of the Fire Nation so they could catch this new terrorist group and dismantle it.

“I’m not leaving. That’s exactly what they want, for me to disappear,” Zuko pressed.

Minister Zhou slumped into his chair upon hearing his words, looking deflated, but Suki only looked more encouraged by them.

“Zuko, it would allow us to do bolder moves and catch them easier if we do it this way,” she explained energetically. “If you are not here but they think you are, we can use someone else as bait so we can catch them red-handed, without the risk of you getting hurt.”

“That means someone is going to be in a lot of danger just to catch these people!” Zuko answered angrily, locking eyes with Suki, trying to get his point across.

“That is our job,” Suki said matter-of-factly, and looked at Minister Zhou, pressing him to help her.

Before the Minister could say anything, Zuko spoke again.

“I have a responsibility to the Fire Nation. I can’t just leave when things get rough and let other people handle my problems.” If Zuko found it difficult to sleep every night because he felt he was wasting his time and not doing enough as it was, he couldn’t fathom how he would feel if he were forced to not do anything for a longer period of time.

“One of your jobs is staying alive so you can continue ruling the nation,” Minister Zhou said pointedly, raising his index finger.

Zuko didn’t know what else to say and covered his face with his hands, thinking hard about the plan. He didn’t like it at all, he felt so many things could go wrong. If the plain failed, he wouldn’t be able to return to the Fire Nation, and then all his efforts would have been in vain.

But if there was a thing that he was sure of, it was that he could trust Suki and Minister Zhou. Both of them had been loyal to him even in the worst moments, and they usually had very good ideas. Not only that, but they often disagreed even in the smallest things. If both of them thought their best bet was that plan, Zuko knew he could put his trust in it.

“Do you both really think this is the best idea?” Zuko asked, his voice muffled from his hands covering his face. He then looked at them through the gaps between his fingers and saw them nod fervently, sparks in their eyes.

Zuko uncovered his face and sighed loudly.

“Alright, then we’ll do it,” he said and, before he could change his opinion, Suki grabbed some blank sheets of paper and a quill.

“We should think of places you could go,” she said.

“I can just stay hidden somewhere near, inside the Fire Nation,” Zuko suggested. The situation would definitely be more bearable for him this way.

“No, that can’t be,” Minister Zhou said. “You have to be completely untraceable.” His voice didn’t leave margin for discussion.

Suki and the Minister started suggesting places, writing them in the piece of paper before them. After some minutes, they started arguing about some little village in the Earth Kingdom that Minister Zhou knew about and Zuko stopped paying attention to the discussion.

Although he had agreed to the plan, he still had a lot of doubts. A lot of people could die. There was also the possibility that the group decided to do a coup d’état. If that happened and he wasn’t there, they would have it very easy to take the power. It was certainly a very uncertain project and knowing he would only be able to sit and wait made him more anxious.

He tried to stop thinking negatively and reconnected to the conversation that was going on before him.

Surprisingly, Minister Zhou and Suki seemed to have reached a conclusion.

“I think the Southern Water Tribe is the best option,” Suki said, looking at the list of options written on the paper, brows furrowed. “It’s a relatively small and isolated place. Everybody knows each other, so there’s not much possibility of spies. Besides, there are people there that we can trust.”

Minister Zhou nodded, also looking at the sheet of paper. He then seemed to think about it for a bit.

“I know Chief Hakoda is in Ba Sing Se negotiating trade deals right now. And his son, Sokka, is in the Northern Water Tribe. They are the only two members of the Tribe that the Fire Nation has had direct relation with. We need someone there, at least to be able to communicate our proposal.”

Suki made a face at Minister Zhou.

“Katara, Chief Hakoda’s daughter, is there,” she simply said, looking accusingly at Zhou.

The Minister then nodded and didn’t say anything else, approving of the situation. Suki smiled and continued talking, not waiting for the two men to say anything else.

“I’m gonna write a letter to Katara explaining the situation. I think, given the circumstances, private correspondence is more appropriate. It’s slower, but it’s not suspicious. If she agrees to the plan, we’ll go through with it.”

Zuko nodded, giving his approval to the whole situation.

When his two subordinates said goodbye and left his office, it was already dark and the moon had started to rise.

While he was tidying his desk for the night, Zuko wondered how come Katara was in the Southern Water Tribe at the moment. The last thing he had heard from her was that she was traveling around the world with Aang. It had been several months since that.

He felt a bitter taste in his mouth. He had been so self-absorbed these past few months that he had forgotten to check on his friends.

* * *

Nearly two weeks went by before Suki received a response from Katara. Her letter explained that she and the Southern Water Tribe were more than willing to help and eagerly awaited for Zuko’s arrival at the South Pole.

In that time they had already searched for someone to impersonate him and they had found a captain of the Palace Guards who was always ready to take on dangerous missions. They had also informed his most trusted Ministers of the plan, as well as all the Kyoshi Warriors and some squads of the Royal Palace Guards. Minister Zhou and Suki wanted the operation to be as secret as possible.

And so upon receiving Katara’s letter, they didn’t wait any longer. They prepared a small merchant ship and Zuko left for the Southern Water Tribe, trying to not think too much about the mission Suki and the others were about to partake in so as to not regret his decision.

* * *

It wasn’t the first time Zuko had been in the Southern Water Tribe.

The first had been when he had been chasing the Avatar. It felt strange for Zuko that nine years had passed since that, but he wasn’t sure whether it felt like it had been more or less.

His second time there had been as Fire Lord, just at the beginning of his reign, on the occasion of a state visit. Although there had been some reticence from some of the other Tribe members, Chief Hakoda, Sokka and Katara had received him, and he had promised reparations for the war.

He had never stayed there for an extended period of time though, so he really had no idea of the everyday life of the place. However, he knew that was about to change, as he would be staying there for quite a bit.

When his ship reached the trading harbour of the South Pole, there was nobody waiting for him, but that was to be expected. They had agreed on it with Katara, so as to not raise suspicion.

The trading harbour was far smaller compared to the Fire Nation Capital one and there was only another boat apart from the one that had taken him there.

He gave his thanks to the crew of the merchant ship that had accompanied him and bid his farewell. While they started to unload their products, Zuko wasted no more time and started his walk to the village.

The place was cold, colder than what Zuko found comfortable, and very white.

The white was so deafening that, everywhere he looked, it spread, omnipresent, and it seemed to be the one responsible for everything that was and happened there, including the chilling cold. He braced himself and looked around for some evidence that signalled where he should go.

The only thing there, apart from the ever-present white, was a road, so he decided to follow it. After some minutes walking, he saw smoke and some buildings in the distance.

The style of housing of the Southern Water Tribe hadn’t changed at all: all buildings were snow huts of different sizes. However, the village was larger than it had been the last time he’d visited. The walls that protected it weren’t there anymore, and had been replaced with even more huts.

Even from afar, it was quite noticeable that the town was buzzing with activity and Zuko could hear a lot of noise coming from it. Voices, high-pitched and loud, but cheerful.

Children, and definitely a lot more of them than compared to the last time he’d been there.

He quickly arrived in the village and stayed at the entrance for some time, looking around wondering where he should head to.

But before he could decide on anything in particular, a woman in what seemed to be her forties passed by and saw him, taking in his Fire Nation attire.

She approached him with a big and kind smile on her face.

“Are you from the new merchant ship? We thought you would arrive tomorrow!” she said with a joyful voice. She then looked at him better, scrutinizing his features. Zuko noticed her gaze lingered in his scar for a moment and then she gasped loudly. “Oh, I’m so sorry! You are the Fire Lord!”

Zuko nodded, smiling awkwardly.

“I am.”

She motioned ardently with her hand to follow her. They started walking, passing several streets. They came across some people, but no one seemed to notice him. Soon they arrived at a fairly big square. There was a big fire in the middle and the buildings surrounding it were much bigger than the ones they just had passed by. Some of them even had wings, making them even larger. The woman smiled at Zuko and went in the direction of one of these.

When they were just in front of it, she knocked its door. She didn’t wait for an answer on the other end before opening it.

The room inside was big and wide with little furniture, but with a lot of decorations and furs in the walls and on the ground. Just in the centre of the room there was a little burning hearth and, when Zuko stepped in, he noticed that the place was far warmer than the exterior, what greatly alleviated his cold.

But he didn’t give much thought to all of this, because inside the room was Katara, who raised her eyes from a piece of paper she was reading and rose up from her desk across the room the moment they entered.

“Zuko!” she said, her voice excited and smiling wide while she approached him.

When she was just in front of him she stopped and talked again, that time more composed, although her smile didn’t weaken.

“Welcome to the Southern Water Tribe!”

Then she looked at the other woman.

“Hosaki, thank you for receiving him and taking him here.”

“Anytime,” the woman said, also smiling wide. But then, and with an air of drama, she added. “I didn’t recognize him at first, I’m so mortified!”

Katara laughed loudly and Zuko assured her that it was alright.

Soon Zuko and Katara were left alone. When Hosaki closed the door behind her, Katara didn’t doubt before giving him a tight hug, which he reciprocated.

Katara was warm, what further assuaged Zuko’s cold.

When they separated, Katara started talking and conducted him to sit down on some cushions that surrounded the small fire in the centre of the hut.

“We knew you would be coming, but we didn’t know when to exactly expect the arrival,” she explained while she also sat down on one of the cushions, right in front of him. “We also thought that maybe a big reception wasn’t ideal, given the circumstances. So please forgive us if this feels like a poor welcome.”

Her tone and wording were formal, which surprised Zuko a bit at first – they had never conversed like this. But Zuko reckoned that his stay in the Southern Water Tribe was, after all, kind of an international relations affair between their two countries, and Katara was, at the moment, the representative of her Tribe.

“On the contrary,” Zuko said, shaking his head, and following her formal tone. “I should be thanking you and all the Southern Water Tribe for letting me hide here for what will probably be a long time. You are putting ourselves in risk to help me.”

“It’s our honour,” Katara answered. “But save the speech for today’s dinner. Now that you’re here, I guess we’ll prepare some sort of banquet to receive you properly.”

“You don’t need to do that,” Zuko said. They were helping him so much and he already felt he was abusing of their kindness as it was, so he didn’t want to wear out his welcome even more.

“You are our guest, Zuko. There’s no option,” Katara said, crossing her arms and fixing her gaze on him, seeming to accept no argument. Zuko sighed in defeat and then Katara smiled, triumphal. “I’m sure you must be tired and will want to rest, I’ll show you where you’ll be staying.”

Katara got up and Zuko followed her out of the building. She continued talking.

“It’s a small hut, but it will be all for you,” she explained. “You don’t have to worry about eating. Some of the women usually prepare meals for the whole village.”

Zuko’s hut was only a few blocks away from Katara’s home and they arrived quickly.

They were just in front of the entrance of the hut, when Katara seemed to remember something.

“One last thing!” she said. “All the adults have been informed of your identity, but the children think you are a Fire Nation merchant that will be staying with us for a bit. Is that okay?”

“It’s perfect,” Zuko assured her. It was certainly for the best if less people knew about the truth than those strictly necessary. The less people that knew, the better.

Then they bid each other goodbye and, taking a deep breath, Zuko entered what was about to become his new home.

* * *

The banquet took place in the largest snow hut of the village, which seemed to be reserved for special days and celebrations. The feast was grandiose and full of Southern Water Tribes specialities.

Katara was right by his side all the time, explaining him the different dishes and introducing him to some of the villagers. The whole village seemed to be there, chatting and eating.

Zuko quickly noticed that some of the villagers seemed wary of him, especially some of the older people. Zuko couldn’t blame them, really. He knew who he was and what he represented. When they came to greet him, Katara tensed and their smiles didn’t reach their eyes.

The majority of the villagers, though, welcomed him with wide smiles and big laughs. The woman who had brought him to Katara’s hut earlier, Hosaki, was there and introduced him to a lot of people, many more than Zuko could actually remember.

The banquet ended up turning into some sort of party that lasted well into the night, with music and loud voices, and Zuko forgot for a moment all the problems he had left behind back in the Fire Nation.

The mood was very different than the one in the official parties he attended at the Fire Nation, it was casual and relaxed. He ate to his heart’s content and even drank a little too much of a liquor he didn’t even like.

It was late into the night when he and Katara excused them and left the feast and headed to Zuko’s new residence.

They stayed for a moment outside of the door, the alcohol and the party making them woozy and their heads muddled. They were laughing about some triviality.

Zuko was starting to get cold, but he paid no attention to it because he still felt a redness in his cheeks that had been there all night.

“Thank you for the amazing reception,” Zuko said, trying to calm down the extreme excitement he felt – he definitely was at least a bit drunk. Katara laughed a little bit more before calming down too.

“You know, I was kind of worried that the people of the Tribe wouldn’t like having you here,” she said. Her eyes looked both contemplative and unfocused at the same time.

Zuko nodded, frowning. Although some of them hadn’t been too happy to see him, most of the villagers had been very nice. Maybe even too nice.

It had been nearly ten years since the war had ended, but he knew that was not always enough time to heal some wounds. His country and he himself had partaken in a war that had been too long and had caused too many deaths and trauma. However, the people of the Southern Water Tribe had decided to help him and even had prepared a party to receive him. He was brought back to reality when he felt Katara’s hand on his shoulder.

“You shouldn’t think too much tonight,” Katara said.

Zuko watched Katara for some time and felt bad for not having reached out to her in the last few months. He had become so engrossed with his job that he had no idea what Katara had been up to until that moment.

She looked happy and calm and also very beautiful under the glow of the moon. Zuko presumed that was the effect the moon always had on people from the Water Tribes.

Then Katara seemed to remember something and her eyes opened wide.

“Aren’t you freezing in these clothes?” she asked with urgency in her voice. Zuko was wearing the Fire Nation clothes he’d had on when he had arrived.

“I’m fine,” he assured her, “these clothes are warmer than they look.”

Katara shook her head.

“We left some clothes for you to wear. They must be inside,” she said while pointing at Zuko’s hut. “While you are here, some merchant could arrive and see you, so it’s better if you go unnoticed. That’s why we thought you should wear Water Tribe clothes.”

“Oh, alright,” Zuko said, a little bit surprised. Katara took her hand off his shoulder and nodded.

“Well, good night,” she said. She smiled once more and left in the direction of her house.

Zuko stayed there for a moment, looking at the village. There was hardly anybody in the streets and the moon was high in the sky. Zuko was feeling more and more cold the more time it passed, but he stayed there still for some time before heading inside.

* * *

Zuko woke up the next day with a sharp headache and quite confused of his surroundings.

He quickly realised where he was and what was happening, so he wasted no more time. He left the bed and got dressed in the brand new Water Tribe clothes that he found in his hut.

The clothes had a lot of layers, something Zuko was unfamiliar with and, most of all, he felt strange not wearing the usual red he had worn all his life. But he had to accept that they were far warmer than the robes he had worn the day before and more fit for the weather in the Southern Water Tribe.

Zuko wondered what do with his hair. Since he’d been crowned Fire Lord, he had let it grow and wore it in a topknot, with a headpiece. Although he hadn’t come to the Southern Water Tribe with the usual Fire Lord headpiece, he figured he shouldn’t wear any Fire Nation accessory if he really wanted to go unnoticed, so he put his hair on a topknot, but did nothing else.

He left the hut, but once he was outside, he realised he didn’t know what he should do or where he should go. He headed to the square he had been in the day before, where there were Katara’s hut and the building the feast had taken place in, as it seemed the main square of the town.

There were quite a few people there: some women that seemed to be fixing some huge damaged fishing nets, and some little kids playing near them.

Before Zuko could decide if he should approach them or not, they saw him and waved at his direction, signalling to join them, so Zuko approached them.

One of them was Hosaki. He knew the other ones too, because he had met them the night before, although he didn’t know if he remembered all of their names.

“Hey, Zuko,” one of them said. She was quite young and petite, and Zuko could remember that her name was Mataka.

There were few people in the Fire Nation that addressed him without using his title, but they had agreed that, while living in the Southern Water Tribe, to avoid any problems, they would all address him this way.

“Could you look after the kids for a bit?” Mataka continued. “We need to take this net to one of our boats.”

Zuko nodded and the women left the square carrying the fishing net in question.

He got near the kids. There were about 10 of them. Some were toddlers, while others were older. They were playing with snow, some engrossed in a snowball fight and others trying to do figures.

When they saw him, the children stopped their games and approached him, looking at him with wide eyes. Zuko found himself surrounded by a horde of kids in a moment.

“Thank you,” one of the older kids said. He didn’t look older than seven. “Thanks to your party yesterday, we went to bed late.”

“You’re welcome,” Zuko said, dumbfounded and without nothing better to say.

“Can you do it again?” another kid asked. This one looked younger, maybe five or six.

“Do what again?” Zuko asked back. He was a bit taken aback about the whole exchange.

“A party, so we can stay up late again,” the child answered as if it were obvious. Some of the other kids nodded.

“I’m sorry, but I didn’t plan the party,” Zuko answered, and all the kids looked at each other with sad faces.

Zuko was thinking of something to add, when one of the kids, a toddler not older than two, started crying. He sat down on the ground, bawling his eyes out. Zuko panicked and approached the kid.

“What’s wrong?” he asked the kid, bending so he could be at his same level.

Zuko tried to not get too scared, reminding himself that little kids cried often. Without saying anything, the kid held out his arms in Zuko’s direction.

“I don’t want to walk!” he cried.

Zuko was a little stunned, but he wanted the kid to stop crying, so he decided to hold the kid in his arms. Once the kid was out of the ground and in Zuko’s arms, he stopped crying completely. Zuko gave him a small smile and the child returned it.

However, the other kids didn’t seem too happy about that, because, in a moment, some of the other kids surrounded him and started crying and holding out their hands for Zuko too.

Zuko was astonished. The only thing he could do was praying so that the children stopped crying before the women returned. He was saved, though, when he heard a voice from afar.

“What is going on here?” Katara had entered the square from the opposite side, and was running to where he and the kids were. Zuko thought at first that she was angry, but when she reached them and looked at them better, she started laughing loudly.

He’d been in the Southern Water Tribe only for a day but he had seen Katara laugh more times than ever. That had been quite a surprise for him since he’d arrived. He was seeing her from a totally different angle. She seemed brimming with happiness. Zuko realised that maybe that was more like her than her anger while they had been in the war.

“Well, I was looking after the kids and this one was tired,” Zuko motioned to the kid that was still in his arms. Katara laughed harder. Zuko looked at her with narrowed eyes. “What’s so funny?” he asked.

“First of all,” Katara said, still laughing a bit, “you can’t hold a child every time they tell you they’re tired, because then all children will want the same treatment.”

“That, I figured,” Zuko said, annoyed. He still didn’t quite find it in himself to put the kid in his arms down.

“Second of all,” Katara continued, “why are you even looking after the children?”

“Hosaki, Mataka and other women asked me to do so while they brought a fishing net to one of the boats,” Zuko said matter-of-factly.

Katara smiled at him.

“They tricked you. The children don’t need anyone looking after them when they are inside town.”

Zuko then put the child down on the ground. The other kids had already stopped crying and were looking at the two adults instead.

“Oh,” Zuko only said. He opened his mouth to speak again, when he heard footsteps approaching them.

It was the women, who didn’t have the fishing net on their hands anymore. They arrived laughing and talking and, when they reached them, Katara turned to look at them.

“Why did you make Zuko look after the children?” she asked them. She was frowning a bit, but didn’t look angry at all. On the contrary, she seemed very amused by the situation.

“We wanted to know how he would handle the situation.” It was Hosaki who answered, shrugging her shoulders.

Katara smiled and then explained to them how she had found Zuko and the children when she had arrived. They all laughed about it for some time, including Zuko, and then Katara excused them and took Zuko with her to her hut.

“The blue looks good on you,” Katara said once they were inside the house and seated on the same cushions from the day before. She was brewing some tea of a plant native to the Southern Water Tribe.

Zuko looked at his clothes. They were very comfortable and fit him well. And they definitely made him forget the cold of the South Pole. It had felt strange at first to wear colours that weren’t his own, as the only time he had done it before had been when he’d been a fugitive in the Earth Kingdom, and that time he hadn’t liked it at all. But, although he hadn’t worn it for long, he had to accept that the blue felt nice.

Katara handed him a cup of tea and they started drinking. Zuko knew that he would have to bring it up eventually so, after some time, he asked Katara the inevitable.

“How come you are in the Southern Water Tribe? Last time I heard from you, you were travelling around the world with Aang,” he asked.

Katara visibly grimaced.

“It’s a long story,” Katara said, looking at her tea, but she added. “Maybe it’s not long, just complicated.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t reach out-” Zuko started, but Katara stopped him.

“No, don’t worry. I’ve been quite silent and didn’t answer any letters since recently.”

“How come?” Zuko asked, and he lounged forward in his seat, trying to decipher Katara’s expression.

“Things weren’t working with Aang, so I decided to return here and think about it, about our relationship. But when I arrived here, I became absorbed in the Tribe’s life and matters and forgot everything else.” Katara was still only looking at her tea. “But I needed to sort out things with Aang, so we talked and…” She made a face, clearly not knowing how to continue.

Zuko stayed silent.

“We broke up,” Katara said, closing her eyes. She looked like she was expecting a bomb to fall from the sky.

“Why?” Zuko asked quietly.

“Good question,” she said, and took a sip from her tea. “We don’t work well together as a couple. We want the same things, but not in the same way.” Katara finally looked up. “That probably doesn’t make a lot of sense,” she added. Then she made a feeble smile.

“I think I understand,” Zuko nodded. “I think the same happened to me with Mai, some years ago.”

Katara nodded too.

A silence fell upon them then, and they continued drinking their tea without saying anything else. From time to time, Zuko glanced at Katara and, sometimes, their gazes met and they smiled.

“I like the tea,” Zuko said. He put down the cup once he was finished and after some minutes, Katara did the same.

She was about to say something when someone barged in the room. They both looked at the direction of the door and found a girl of about ten years of age. She was smiling widely.

“Master Katara!” she yelled.

“Kada, I’ve told you before that you need to knock the door and wait for an answer before opening,” Katara admonished. Directly after that, though, she continued with affection in her voice. “What happened?”

“I’ve done it! Look!” Kada said and started moving her arms in what appeared to be a waterbending move. Immediately after, some ice was detached from the building’s wall and turned into water. However, it didn’t last long, because the girl did a swift move and it turned back into a piece of ice. The piece looked sharp and Kada nailed it in the floor with full force.

The girl looked up at Katara, smiling from ear to ear. Katara returned the gesture.

“Very good! I’m so proud,” she said. “You’ve done it in record time!”

“I’m gonna show it to my mom!” Kada said, excited, and run out of the house, shutting the door after her with a loud thud.

“She’s a waterbender,” Zuko said the obvious. Katara nodded proudly.

“There’s three children I’m teaching right now. We also suspect some of the smaller ones are benders too, but it’s still too early to tell.”

“That’s so good,” Zuko said, his eyes wide. “You must be very happy.”

“I am.” Katara nodded, smiling from ear to ear.

* * *

After some days of only following Katara along in her duties, Zuko reckoned that he should occupy his days with some other activities. He figured he should help with some chores in the village.

First, he asked some men from the Tribe if he could accompany them in their hunts or fishing trips. They didn’t even talk it amongst themselves before declining his proposal.

“Zuko, thank you for volunteering,” Podak explained, a man his age that lived with his wife in the hut next to Zuko’s, “but you’d have to learn for half a year before you’d be able to be of any help in a hunt. And you probably won’t stay here that long.”

Zuko tried to not take it too personally and so instead went to ask Hosaki, with whom he had ended up having a good relationship, what he could do to help in the Tribe.

“Do you know how to cook?” Hosaki asked and Zuko made a face. He’d never been very good at cooking. Hosaki understood instantly but didn’t get discouraged. “What about sewing? Do you know how to sew?”

Zuko smiled. His mother had taught him how to sew when he was little and it had ended up being an activity he enjoyed a lot.

And so Zuko started spending a lot of his mornings helping repair clothes and fishing nets with some women of the village.

He also spent a lot of afternoons playing with the children of the Tribe. At first, Zuko hadn’t been very sure about playing with snow, but he ended up developing a liking for snowball fighting.

One day, some of the older kids asked him to keep a secret.

“You can’t tell any other adults!” a boy called Sahi, of about 10 years of age, told him. He was one of the most bold and talkative kids. Four children were next to him and nodded vigorously at his words.

“Not even Master Katara!” Dasaro pitched in, a girl the same age as Sahi.

“Especially not Master Katara!” Sahi added.

Zuko doubted. He didn’t want to get into trouble, but he felt happy that these children trusted him enough to tell him a secret. He thought to himself that he would only tell the other adults if what they were doing was very dangerous and so he nodded at the children.

Cautious so as to not get caught, they exited the village and the kids took him to a shore some minutes away from the settlement.

Blocks of ice had separated from the mainland but it was easy to jump between them. The children got near some rocks and took out fishing rods from between them. They gave him one and they all sat on the edge of a block of ice, waiting for a nibble of their lines.

Zuko smiled. He figured there was no harm on keeping this little secret.

* * *

Even if both Zuko and Katara had daily duties, they met regularly and spent time together.

After the first time, and without knowing how, drinking tea together sort of became a habit. And in these meet-ups, they often found themselves engrossed in long conversations.

Zuko had considered Katara one of his best friends before, but he had to admit that they had never had so many long talks before.

“You ought to explain to me what exactly is happening in the Fire Nation right now. These past few months I’ve been a bit out of the loop,” Katara said one afternoon. “Of course, I know there’s an organization trying to kill you, that’s why you are here,” she added as an afterthought. She looked at him intently, all her attention set on him.

“Well, it’s complicated,” Zuko started. He took a sip from his warm tea before continuing. “I started making some changes in the government.” Katara nodded, that had started years ago, so she knew about it.

In his efforts to reform the Fire Nation after the Hundred Year War, Zuko first had elected a new and more diverse council, and later he’d created a Parliament. He even had started to strip the title of Fire Lord of some of its powers.

“Now the people are divided. Some of them like the changes a lot and are pressing for more reforms. And some people don’t like them and instead want the Fire Lord to continue having absolute power, just like before,” Zuko explained.

“And what is your plan?” Katara asked. She tilted her head, concentrated. Zuko grunted.

“I want to continue making reforms, but I’m not so sure anymore. If people are so against them, maybe it’s better to not rush things.”

Zuko had previously been so eager to make a lot of changes, so sure that was what the Fire Nation needed, but things hadn’t been turning out like he had wanted them to. He wondered if he should instead strive for stability and leave these projects for the future.

“So you made a Parliament, right?” Katara said, putting her cup of tea down. “It caused quite a commotion. I mean, the Fire Nation holding an election!” She held her hands up, like she was shocked to hear the news.

Zuko grunted again and buried his face in his hands.

“That was a disaster.” He groaned. “Very few people stood for election, majority of them being military chiefs and feudal lords. Also, very few people voted and, those who did, voted for their own feudal lords. So you can imagine what the current Parliament is like.” Zuko looked up, a little bit embarrassed, and Katara smiled.

“Well, you let the people decide, and that’s what they told you,” she said, shrugging her shoulders and looking lost in thought.

Zuko knew it wasn’t that simple, it couldn’t be that simple. But he wondered whether change could be achieved that way. If a king could force something that the citizens didn’t seem to want.

They stayed in silence for a bit and continued drinking their tea.

Zuko couldn’t say he liked being Fire Lord, but it wasn’t a job he wanted to quit. He was the leader of the Fire Nation, at least for the time being, and he knew whatever happened in it was his responsibility.

“Why did you do it?” Katara broke the silence and that took Zuko out of his thoughts.

“The election? The Parliament?”

“Yeah.”

Zuko didn’t doubt before responding.

“There was a war for a hundred years because a man had too power in his hands. He brought the entire world to a war because nobody could stop him,” he answered, slowly. He looked at Katara and their eyes met.

“You know you are not like your father,” Katara said without breaking her gaze. She looked completely serious when she spoke, and Zuko felt like she was nailing a dagger in him with her eyes, like she wanted to be sure he knew it. He really appreciated it.

“I know,” Zuko said, and broke her gaze. He concentrated instead on his cup of tea, which was cold already. “It’s not just me, though. I don’t know what my successors will do.”

“So your intentions are to abolish the monarchy?” Katara asked and Zuko made a small smile.

“Ultimately,” he said quietly. He knew that, considering how things were in the Fire Nation at the moment, this might never happen in his reign.

“You’d willingly step out of being the Fire Lord?” Katara sounded genuinely surprised.

“Does that sound so bad?” Zuko made a face and looked at her.

“It’s just that I would have never expected it.” Katara looked up, like thinking about the possibility for a moment. “I guess, knowing you, it does make sense,” she concluded with a small nod. “But what would you do if when you leave, things get worse and, for example, they decide to put on another Fire Lord?”

“I wouldn’t leave if I thought that was a possibility.” Zuko shifted on his seat. “I mean, maybe it’s never going to happen. With how things are going right now, I don’t have very good prospects.”

“Maybe it’s not the right moment for the Fire Nation,” Katara reasoned. “Less than ten years ago the Fire Nation was in a war, conquering the world and following your father’s orders. And now you are telling them you want to start a republic. It may sound like a long time, but ten years isn’t really a long time.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of,” Zuko said.

They both got lost in their own thoughts for some time.

Zuko eyed Katara while he drank his tea. She seemed calm and content, but he wondered if there was more to her than he couldn’t read.

“How are you doing?” Zuko asked. “Without your father or Sokka here.”

“I miss them. Not only them, but my grandmother is also in the Northern Water Tribe, and I had never realised how much of a support she is for me.” Then Katara seemed to think for a bit, trying to find the appropriate words. But she only added, “And about my job here, it is complicated.”

Katara looked down at her cup of tea and didn’t say anything else. Zuko wanted to press, for her to explain to him what was troubling her, but decided against it.

The conversation ended and they both finished their cold cups of tea.

* * *

When Zuko had arrived at the Southern Water Tribe, he had thought the place was already in the middle of winter. Far more used to hot weather, Zuko preferred indoor places, and, when possible, he would always place himself near fires.

However, he had underestimated how much cold one could feel. Since he had arrived, he had noticed the days were becoming shorter than what he could even imagine they could be. And with shorter days, there was also less sun, and less heat.

He noticed that, unlike him, Katara relished the long nights and cold weather, especially when she waterbended. Although he wasn’t a waterbender, he had been allowed to assist to some of her classes. The ones that happened when the moon was out, Katara was almighty. Even if it had been years since the war had ended and Katara didn’t need to develop fighting waterbending techniques anymore, she hadn’t stopped learning.

Zuko was fascinated by her abilities. And not only by her abilities. He had discovered that the night and the moon, although they froze him to the inside, also made him enthralled by her.

Zuko shook these thoughts out of his mind and concentrated on the task at hand.

He was with the group of kids that had showed him their little secret spot for fishing.

Dasaro had a necklace that her father had gifted her. He had told her that the necklace had been made out of a teeth of a fearsome monster and it was very important to her. But while they were fishing, it had fallen into the deep waters.

Dasaro was crying and all the kids were trying to give her solutions.

“I can give you one very similar: no one will notice it’s a different one,” Hoka said first.

“But it won’t be the same!” Dasaro cried louder.

“I will swim to the bottom and recover it!” Sahi said boldly and he was already taking off his outer robes when Zuko stopped him.

“Are you crazy? The water’s freezing and you don’t even know how deep it really is,” he said aghast. Zuko then observed all the kids there with him, especially Dasaro, who was the most upset about the situation. “I’ll do it instead,” Zuko said without a second doubt, “I have experience swimming in freezing places.” Zuko remembered a night so many years ago, when he had infiltrated the Northern Water Tribe to capture the Avatar. His breath of fire had become crucial in the mission, and he was sure he would need it this time too.

“I’m more used to the cold than you,” Sahi said, “let me do it.”

“I’m a firebender, I’m more equipped for the cold than you believe,” Zuko said and when he saw the children’s surprised faces before him, he remembered that, although the kids of the village knew he was from the Fire Nation, a merchant from the Fire Nation, that is, they didn’t know he was a bender.

“You are a firebender? How cool is that?!” Nakka said and all the other kids nodded at her words, momentarily forgetting about the lost necklace.

Zuko decided to not think about it more and removed his outer robes.

And after taking a deep breath, he dived into the ocean.

The water was so abruptly cold, it made his muscles freeze for a moment, but Zuko pulled through, opening his eyes and starting swimming to the bottom. The ocean was deep and dark and Zuko found it difficult to see much in front of him.

The water was so cold that it left him raw just like the hottest of fires would. He knew cold could burn just as much as fire, but he had never experienced it first-hand before.

After what seemed like centuries, he arrived at the bottom.

Thankfully, the necklace was easy to find: it was a white spot in the dark ground. Zuko grabbed it without doubting and started his way to the top.

His lungs burned from the lack of oxygen and the water on top of him was awfully heavy. He could only concentrate on the light at the top.

Zuko exited the water when he was nearly arriving at his limit, necklace on his hands. The children hurried to help him get out of the water, shouting and celebrating his success.

When Zuko was completely out of the water, he took several big breaths one after the other, letting out flames of fire in the process. Zuko immediately felt much better and far, far warmer.

He stayed like this, lying on the ground, recovering from his dive, for some time. He was completely exhausted.

When he felt he could, he got up and handed the necklace to Dasaro. He saw how her mouth opened to thank him, but he didn’t register anything else as everything turned black.

* * *

When Zuko woke up, he didn’t just feel warm, he felt hot, and for a moment he thought he was back in the Fire Nation, in the middle of summer.

When he opened his eyes, though, he was still in the Southern Water Tribe, in his bed and with Katara by his side. She seemed to be preparing some medicine, but she turned her eyes towards him when she noticed him waking up.

“Zuko,” she whispered and got closer to him. “How are you feeling?”

Zuko tried to move but he felt like he was tied up. He looked down at his body and he saw that they had put on him layers upon layers of blankets.

“It’s hot,” Zuko said. His voice was hoarse and he felt thirsty too.

Katara removed some of the blankets while she started talking, her voice and tone having totally changed. She wasn’t whispering anymore, she sounded angry. And worried too.

“You have no concept of danger whatsoever. In the middle of winter, in unknown waters. You could have died! Maybe even before getting to the top!” Zuko watched her while she talked. She didn’t look at him until she was content with the amount of blankets on top of him. She sneaked a glance at him and then grabbed a cup of water and brought it to his lips. “Not only that, you knew the children were going fishing in a dangerous place and said nothing.”

Zuko wanted to explain all the situation to Katara. Of how he had done something like that before and nothing bad had happened. Of how he had no idea that the place was dangerous for fishing. And of how the kids, without knowing how, counted on and trusted him and he couldn’t fail them.

“That necklace was very important for Dasaro,” he said when Katara put the cup of water aside.

“Your principles regarding necklaces have definitely changed over the years,” Katara said, suddenly oddly affectionate, and finally looked him in the eye.

“I’ve swum in waters like these before, that’s why I did it.” Zuko tried to sit up in the bed.

Katara helped him up while she talked, angry again.

“No, you haven’t. The reason we never go fishing in that specific area is because those waters are the coldest in the whole world. We suspect there is a spirit living there, that’s why they are like that. There may be fish that can live there, but if a person gets in the water, it’s a certain death.”

Once she was sure he was well seated, she handed him a bowl of soup. The bowl was so hot that it burned his hands. Zuko was about to complain when Katara continued talking.

“I can’t believe you only fainted. I thought you were going to have a really bad fever.” She suddenly sounded curious. “How did you do it?”

“There is a firebending technique called the breath of fire. You use your own fire to give yourself warmth.” Zuko himself was surprised about how well he had endured the freezing water now that he knew all the information about it.

“I was so worried, Zuko. Don’t do something like that again,” Katara said and Zuko could swear that her voice had trembled at that. But then she added, “If you died, Suki would personally come here and kill me.”

Both of them chuckled at that.

“Drink the soup,” Katara ordered after a little too long beat of silence.

“It’s scalding,” Zuko answered, making a face.

“Are you going to have me spoon-feed you?” Katara sounded annoyed, but then she grabbed the bowl from his hands and searched for a spoon among her utensils. When she found one, she motioned to start feeding him the soup. Zuko promptly stopped her. He grabbed the bowl again and started eating it himself.

Zuko knew Katara must have been very worried about him. That was her way of caring for other people: getting angry and trying to mother them. He knew Katara had been kind of forced since she was young to be a caretaker. It was a role that fit into her, but at the same time it shouldn’t have been like this.

And Katara had many things in her plate at the moment. Being the only master waterbender of the Tribe, being one of the main physicians of the village because she was a healer, occupying Chief Hakoda’s place while he was away, even if being that type of leader wasn’t something she had a lot of experience as. Zuko really understood her in that last aspect, he had never felt he was fit to be a leader, but he had had to be one since young.

Now he felt he had just given her more problems. He already knew some of the people of the Southern Water Tribe didn’t like him staying in the village. He put them in danger, but most importantly, it was because of who he was: the Fire Lord, from the Fire Nation. Katara had personally let him stay there, and she would have the responsibility if something were to happen.

And he had jumped into the coldest waters of the world. Zuko cursed himself.

“Are all the kids well?” Zuko asked in between scoops.

Katara nodded.

“Yes, they are. They got very scared when you fainted, though. Nakka and Sahi run to the village to call for help; they were very distressed. They want to visit you.”

Zuko made a note in his head to reassure the children that he was perfectly fine.

He finished his soup in silence and handed back the empty bowl to Katara.

“Katara, I’d like to thank you for letting--” Zuko started, but Katara interrupted him.

“You’ve said this before, you don’t need to repeat it again,” she scolded him.

“No, I want to thank you personally,” Zuko pressed. “I know it’s you who holds the responsibility of my stay here.” Katara looked a bit surprised, so Zuko took advantage of that and continued talking. “If I can help you in any way while I’m here, or when I return, please let me know.”

Katara shook her head. “You don’t need to pay me back, I did it because I care for you.”

“It’s not about paying you back, it’s about offering my help if you need it,” he answered.

Katara was surprised by his words and, frankly, Zuko was too. He felt his whole face going red and he wanted more blankets removed off of him.

“Thank you, Zuko.” Katara sounded genuinely grateful.

Neither seemed to know how to continue the conversation until Katara spoke again, looking down at her hands.

“I’m afraid you can’t do much about the problems I have.” Zuko stared at her without saying anything, like urging her to continue talking. “I need to teach waterbending by myself, and I have to do a lot of the healing myself, and it’s me who also has to answer letters from people all around the world that I sometimes don’t understand, and it’s me who has to deal with some elders from the Tribe that don’t like anything I do too **.** These are all things I can only do by myself.”

“No, you don’t,” Zuko said, energy in his voice. “I am the Fire Lord, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t people that help me.”

“You run a whole country, that’s to be expected.”

“You are practically running the whole Southern Water Tribe.” Zuko was firm and, when Katara raised her head, surprised by his tone, he looked at her right in the eye. “You are doing so much work, you should feel proud.”

“It’s my job, it’s what I have to do.” Katara looked resigned, but smiled at Zuko. “And the fact that you have help doesn’t take away from the fact that you have to make the final decision, and you have the responsibility.” Zuko nodded.

Katara was right. He knew that he could do everything to help Katara, but, at the end of the day, it would still be her responsibility, just like it was his in the Fire Nation. He could only give support, just as so many others did with him back in his country.

“That doesn’t mean we can’t use some help from time to time,” Zuko said. Katara smiled wider.

He was amazed. Katara seemed to take everything without a doubt, like it was nothing. Ever since he had started his job as Fire Lord, every day had felt like an endless uphill climb. But Katara took up everything with courage. He wondered if that was all a façade. Considering her tired look and her previous words, he could infer that it was, in fact, some sort of façade.

Zuko sat up better in his bed and, remembering her previous words, he suggested, “If you’d like, I can help you with the letters.”

“I would love that.” There was honesty in her voice.

“Tell me if I can help you with anything else,” Zuko said and watched as Katara started collecting all her utensils that were laid out on the floor by his bed.

“I will.”

A beat passed. The only thing that could be heard was the sound of her storing her tools.

“Again, thank you, Zuko,” Katara said, her voice soft and looking down.

As she got up, a bag in her hands, she seemed to be absorbed in her thoughts and her brow furrowed. For some seconds, Zuko wondered if that was her façade going down. But then her resolve returned. She placed her hands on her hips and looked back straight at Zuko.

“You look very tired, I think you need a good night’s rest. Tomorrow you’ll probably feel better.”

Zuko nodded.

“Good night,” he said.

“Good night,” Katara returned. Without saying anything else, she turned around and left his hut.

And like that, Zuko was left there thinking about the conversation that had just happened. He wondered if Katara was content, and if he could really help her.

Zuko suddenly felt very tired and lied down properly in the bed. As he closed his eyes, he thought that he’d like to comfort Katara. He wanted to be by her side and support her in all he could.

During that lapse of time, he didn’t even think about his real duties, in the Fire Nation. He could only think about Katara and about his current life in the Southern Water Tribe.

* * *

In the following days, Zuko started helping Katara with the letters she received from all around the world regarding international relations. He felt brought back to his own court and his own desk, trying to decipher what would be the best response to each letter.

The fact was that Zuko was used to reading this type of letters and, as the time had passed, he had learned a lot about hidden intentions in them, but he was not used to write the responses himself. He would tell his assistant or, occasionally, one of his Ministers what the answer should be, and they would do it on his behalf. He knew little of formats and specific terms.

“Who would usually write the responses to these letters?” Zuko asked, hunched over one letter written by some Minister from Ba Sing Se, seated on Katara’s desk, and wondering why that Minister had sent this letter to the Southern Water Tribe instead of talking about the issue directly with Chief Hakoda, who was in Ba Sing Se at the moment. Katara was by his side, intently reading another letter, which was also from somewhere in the Earth Kingdom.

“My father usually wrote them himself,” Katara answered after some time. “Sokka and I would read them too, and would decide with him what to say back. But he’s the best with words, so he wrote them,” she explained further, disheartened, and sighed loudly.

After some time considering what he should do, Zuko grabbed some parchment paper and a quill and sat upright, determined to start writing a letter answering to that Minister from Ba Sing Se.

“The best advice to writing official letters is that, even if you want to be very rude, you need to be overly polite. There’s never enough ‘thank you’ and ‘please’,” Zuko said, moving gracefully the quill in his hand.

Katara looked at him with one raised eyebrow and a smirk on her face. “You don’t know what you’re doing, do you?”

Zuko lowered the quill in his hand, making a face at Katara. He carefully put the quill on top of the desk. He had offered Katara help in the only thing he thought he could assist her with, but it seemed like he wasn’t really of much use.

Katara placed her hand on Zuko’s arm and he turned his gaze towards her.

“Why don’t we take a break?” she said. “What about going out for a walk?”

Zuko nodded and both got up from the desk. They had been reading letters for about two hours and it didn’t look like they were doing any progress. They left Katara’s hut and the village, and they headed towards the shore.

The shores in the Southern Water Tribe were very different from the beaches in the Fire Nation. There, they were full of hot and warm colours. In the South Pole, they were cold and white. The only thing that the two places had in common were the sea and the sky, blue in both cases. Standing there, ice under his feet and water in front of him, Zuko thought that he liked the contrast between the two nations.

“I find the South Pole a strange place, but I like it,” Zuko said.

“For me, it’s the Fire Nation what’s strange,” Katara answered, “but it’s a nice difference.”

Zuko nodded. The beaches in the Fire Nation were a location made for vacations and were usually full of people. The sand and the water was warm and you could see a lot of types of animals in them.

Zuko remembered the situation he’d left back in the Fire Nation. Katara noticed something in his expression, because she spoke again.

“You are worried,” she said, and it wasn’t a question.

“I feel useless here,” Zuko blurted out and he fixed his stare at the sea in front of him. “I’m the head of the Fire Nation, but I had to leave so others could make my job for me.”

Katara seemed to contemplate his words for a moment.

“Is that why you offered to help me with the letters?” she asked. She turned her head completely to look at him.

“Maybe?” Zuko wasn’t really sure. A part of him might have done it because of that. “I think it was more because I understand the stress, and I feel some help could maybe take some weight off your shoulders.”

“You being here is enough. You don’t need to do anything special to help me,” Katara answered.

Zuko was taken aback by that and shot her a quick glance. She was flustered. Zuko, also feeling his face growing red, returned his gaze to the sea, trying to compose himself.

The shore of the Southern Water Tribe was void of people, only Katara and he were there at the moment. That and the white and blue of the place made Zuko feel calm. It soothed his nerves and brought him peace of mind.

He tried to forget all his problems for a moment. In his mind there was only the sea and the biting cold. And Katara.

She was right there by his side, her body providing warmth. She was looking towards the horizon again, her eyes scanning the large body of water in front of them.

The sea moved slightly. Small waves arrived near their feet with not a lot of force. But Zuko could hear loud and clear the sound of the water moving. He could also feel the wind against his face. The cold touched him and it seemed like it scratched his face.

And Katara was the only warmth Zuko could feel. It was enough. It was more than enough.

Zuko wanted to stay there forever. There, watching the large sea with Katara on his side. Or, alternatively, there, in the Southern Water Tribe, with the complicated letters as his only worry.

He wanted to forget about his real life, the one where he was Fire Lord in the Fire Nation.

Without really thinking, Zuko turned to look at Katara again. Her face wasn’t flustered anymore, she was smiling slightly. She seemed happy and satisfied. Zuko liked that look in her face.

Katara noticed his gaze and looked back at him. She examined his face for a long moment and Zuko felt a warmness climb up him. Her gaze was soft.

“It’s usually never enough, whatever we do.” Zuko didn’t know if Katara was referring to him or herself. It was probably both. “But I think it’s alright to just forget sometimes about your troubles.”

Zuko cherished Katara’s words. He would love to forget about his troubles, the problems that were waiting for him once he eventually returned to the Fire Nation.

But he asked himself if it was really possible, if he could let himself just forget about them.

While in the Southern Water Tribe, he wouldn’t be able to receive any news from the Fire Nation until the time arrived when he inevitably would have to return. Zuko wondered if, at least for the time being, that gave him the possibility to just forget about his real life and indulge in what he had there.

A false life, in the cold South Pole. A made up and ephemeral life, near warm Katara.

He realised that he would like that a lot.

They were still looking at each other. Katara took off one of her thick gloves and raised her hand. She brushed her warm fingers against his forehead. She drew near and her warmth came with her.

“You’re very cold,” she said, her hand still on his face. They had been outside, standing on the shore, for too long. “We should go back,” she added, and stepped back from Zuko.

He suddenly felt cold pierce through his body and nodded at Katara. Without saying anything else, they both started walking back to the village.

Zuko revelled in that moment. Both walking, side by side, without saying anything.

He felt cold, but he found himself enjoying it for the first time in his life. He thought that it definitely helped that Katara was right there by his side.

Zuko wanted to forget, even if it was just for a moment, what was awaiting him in his country, so he concentrated on the cold and the white all around him and pleaded.

He didn’t ask for a new life, he knew he couldn’t want that much, couldn’t be that selfish.

He only asked for a false brief life.

Without really realising, they quickly arrived at the village.

Once they were in the main square, they stopped, and they contemplated going back to Katara’s hut to try to actually write answers to some of the letters.

“I think it’s better if we stop for today,” Katara said, her eyes cast downwards and her gloved hands fidgeting. Even if it was still early, the sun was starting to set and the white of the village looked a bit red.

Zuko agreed. He probably wouldn’t be able to concentrate on the letters anyway.

They parted ways and Zuko headed towards his hut. When he entered the place, it was cold, so he lighted a fire in the hearth.

And he thought that, although the fire made the chill go away, it didn’t actually give him any real warmth.


	2. of advocates and rituals

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it!

Time passed in an apparent normalcy and Zuko found himself following a comfortable routine. He sewed with some women in the mornings, and, in the afternoons, he played with some children or spent time with Katara, sometimes answering letters and other times just talking.

The life in the Southern Water Tribe was usually calm, and Zuko utterly enjoyed that. He was someone that had always revelled in routines and habits, as he didn’t find them boring, but instead comforting. He relished in waking up every day and already knowing what he was going to do that day. He enjoyed the tasks he had been entrusted to do and, most of all, he loved not having great problems to have to take care of.

One of the most comforting parts of his day usually was the time spent with Katara. Their friendship had already been strong before, and they had already connected in a very deep way in the times of the war and after it, but, in some way, Zuko felt that, in his time in the South Pole, their relationship was becoming even more complex. It was evolving, and Zuko treasured that transformation, even if he didn’t know where it would take them. Or even if he didn’t want to know just yet about where it would take them.

There were some strange and special days, though, and, even with his love for routine, these original days usually stood out and showed him something new he hadn’t experienced before.

One morning, when Zuko went out of his hut, he was shocked to find there was a commotion going on the main square of the village. A large amount of people were arguing between themselves and Katara was among them, talking and arguing with several men and women. They were all so absorbed talking that nobody paid attention to Zuko, who approached the crowd, concerned.

In the middle of it all, there was a teenager. Zuko knew the boy. His name was Kaho and was known to be the usual instigator of pranks and mischief in the village. It was usually nothing serious, like pulling small pranks on some adults or disappearing for a few hours to not do his chores. Zuko himself had caught him and other teens drinking alcohol one night.

However, even if he caused some trouble from time to time, Zuko believed he was a good kid.

He wondered what Kaho had done to cause such a big commotion and so he approached him. The boy was serious and looked at his feet, which was very unlike him.

“What happened?” Zuko asked the boy and he tried to appear friendly and sympathetic.

But the boy didn’t answer, didn’t even look up.

Zuko frowned and turned towards the other people. He decided to approach the group nearer to him and listened to their talk. They were all speaking at the same time and were visibly angry.

“It obviously was him. If not, then who did it?” a man said.

“Exemplary punishment is needed,” a woman added, very serious.

“There isn’t really any evidence that he’s guilty,” a second woman said.

“Besides, he’s just a kid, he’ll grow up eventually,” yet another man answered. 

“He’s fifteen already, he needs to learn,” the first man, who seemed to be the angriest of the group, argued.

“Besides, stealing is not a little prank!” a third man supplied.

As the group continued arguing, Zuko found out that apparently Kaho had stolen a basket full of fish. The basket had disappeared from the products that some men from the village had fished early that same morning. Kaho had been the first to be asked about the issue and upon realising the boy hadn’t been in his bed all night, he’d been suspected of stealing the basket.

Kaho had denied it at first but when the grownups had asked him where he’d been all night instead, the boy had fell silent. Upon that, it appeared that half of the village found him guilty.

The chaos and the arguing continued, the town divided on the matter, but Zuko watched as Katara went to stand next to Kaho. Then she demanded the attention of all the villagers.

“We are all arguing about what punishment Kaho deserves,” Katara started, and everybody stopped talking to look at her direction, “but we haven’t proved if he was the culprit.”

Katara stood straight, her face commanded respect and she talked like she knew all eyes were on her. Because they were.

Zuko had never seen Katara put in a position of clear leadership before. The last and only time he’d been in the Southern Water Tribe as Fire Lord, in an official visit at the beginning of his reign, Chief Hakoda had been the definite leader of the tribe. Sokka had seemed to be his right-hand man and Katara had seemed happy to hold a more secondary role. She was important and valued by all the village, that had been blatantly obvious, but she had blended more with everybody else.

But in this moment, Katara seemed to be a supreme authority. He wondered if he himself had that same aura around him when he ordered something to his Ministers.

In spite of that, the people present protested at her words.

“It’s clear it was him. Who else can it be?” the man next to Zuko shouted. Katara looked at their direction. For a moment her eyes lingered on him, probably catching sight of him for the first time that morning, before fixing her gaze on the man who had spoken.

“Theft is a serious crime, we shouldn’t make baseless accusations like this,” she answered. “We will look for evidence and then, if we find it, we will hold a trial.”

Most of the villagers nodded their heads, somewhat satisfied with her decision. Katara waited for a moment to see if someone had something to add, but nobody said anything. She folded her hands in front of her and continued.

“As the custom in the Southern Water Tribe is doing first an official investigation conducted by a prosecutor and an advocate of the suspect, we should find two people that want to take these roles. Then, once the investigation is finished and the offender has been found, we’ll hold a trial and a jury will render the verdict. Who wants to be the prosecutor or the advocate?”

The crowd fell silent. Everybody looked at each other, waiting for someone to volunteer. Zuko looked at Kaho. He was still looking at his feet, head low. Zuko found it hard to believe that Kaho would steal a basket full of fish. And if he did steal it, it would be unimaginable that he wouldn’t return it after he had finished pulling the prank.

Zuko didn’t think much before speaking.

“I’ll be the advocate.”

Everybody turned their heads to look at him. Even Kaho stopped looking at his shoes and raised his head. Shock was obvious in all their expressions. Zuko realised then that he shouldn’t have intruded in the issue. After all, he was a mere foreigner.

But, before he could think of withdrawing his offer, Zuko saw Katara smile. She raised an eyebrow, but nodded, accepting his offer.

Some time passed, and nobody else seemed to be interested in having the role of the prosecutor, so Katara spoke again.

“I guess I’ll be the prosecutor, then.”

Without further ado, everybody started to leave the main square in small groups, still arguing slightly. After a few minutes, the only ones standing in the square were Zuko, Katara and Kaho.

Zuko quickly approached them both. He hadn’t hesitated to offer himself to be the advocate, but now he had his doubts. He had never participated in a process like this outside of the Fire Nation.

Once Zuko was standing just in front of Katara, she put her hands on her hips.

“Why did you propose yourself as the advocate?” she asked him, genuinely curious.

He shrugged his shoulders.

“I just don’t think he’s guilty,” Zuko said. He caught hold of Kaho’s reaction. The kid smiled lightly.

Katara also smiled tenderly. Zuko’s heart made a flip.

“It’s usually a lot of paperwork, so normally people don’t like participating in these proceedings,” Katara explained.

But, wasting no more time, she turned to Kaho. Her hands still akimbo, she asked the teen.

“Kaho, you need to tell us the truth. If not, we won’t be able to help you.” Her voice was serious, but not accusing at all. Kaho looked at Zuko, waiting for some sort of indication from his advocate. Zuko only nodded. That was all the encouragement the teenager needed.

“I didn’t steal the basket of fish! I swear!” the boy begged. He hadn’t had his growth spurt yet and was shorter than both of them, so he had to look up to reach their eyes.

“Then, what did you last night?” Katara interrogated. Kaho then fell silent and started avoiding their eyes. “Kaho, you need to tell us. It definitely won’t be worse than stealing!”

But the boy didn’t say anything else. Whatever it was, Kaho preferred having no alibi before telling the truth and Zuko had a growing suspicion of what it could be about. He signalled Katara so as to talk alone with her for a moment.

They moved away from the boy a few feet. They were out of Kaho’s earshot, but, even so, Zuko came closer to Katara to whisper in her ear. He tried to not give much importance to the warmth that came from her body and concentrated on his words.

“He’s covering for someone, and I think I know who it is.”

From that moment on, it was rather easy. Zuko and Katara, accompanied by Kaho, went to talk to Tarra, Somok and Banna. They were Kaho’s best friends and the teens he’d been with the night Zuko had caught Kaho drinking.

Just as Zuko had suspected, they had been out with Kaho that past night, having fun and drinking alcohol. They confirmed Kaho had been with them the whole night and that they didn’t know anything about the missing basket.

So apart from a reprimand from their parents, the teens didn’t face any more consequences.

“Just how many secrets do you keep for the children of the village?” Katara asked as they left Kaho’s home. His parents were telling him off rather harshly, but it was nothing compared to what would have happened hadn’t the truth been discovered.

Katara was smiling wide, and so was Zuko. They hadn’t yet discovered where the missing basket of fish was, but at least it had been proved that Kaho wasn’t guilty.

“Apart from the kids fishing in a dangerous place and the teens drinking alcohol, I don’t think I know anything else,” Zuko answered and Katara shook her head, still smiling.

In far a much better mood than before, they went to the small port next to the Water Tribe village, where the basket of fish had been last seen. This port was exclusively operated by the inhabitants of the Tribe, and it was mainly used to dock the boats the men used for fishing.

There they carried out a thorough search of the basket itself or of some evidence that could tell them where it was.

It wasn’t until after staying there for nearly the full morning, and when both of them were close to giving up their search for clues, that Katara had an idea.

They were standing right on the same spot where the basket, together with all its other companions, had last been placed, just by a small Water Tribe boat. Zuko crouched down, already tired for the day even it was only midday, and watched a little bit out of it as Katara went closer to the verge of the ice and looked down at the water.

He didn’t think much of it, until he saw Katara grin triumphantly at the water.

* * *

That same afternoon, all the village gathered again in the main square, just in front of the chieftain’s hut, Katara’s home. Even if it was still early afternoon, the sun had already set and the air was colder than Zuko found bearable.

By Katara’s side, he listened as she explained the results of their investigation. The basket was on her other side, having been retrieved from the waters of the ocean just immediately next to the port. It even was still full of fish.

“The conclusion we have reached is that, by some accident, the basket in question fell to the water and thus went missing,” Katara concluded after a long explanation.

Everybody was very much bewildered and looked between Katara and the basket, astounded. A couple of people were nodding their heads, pleased with her explanation. After some moments, Katara added.

“This ended up being solved, but we have to learn that we can’t accuse someone so lightly of something so serious.”

Zuko saw even more people nodding their heads. Everybody seemed satisfied and the meeting was soon considered to be over.

As the majority of the villagers left the square for the second time that day, four old men approached them. Zuko soon recognized them as some of Chief Hakoda’s councillors. They were also some of the villagers that had seemed wary of his arrival at the Tribe the day of the banquet.

Zuko caught that, for a moment, Katara tensed. But as they came nearer them, Zuko noticed how that nervousness melt away from her.

Katara straightened her back and, from the corner of his eye, Zuko noticed the change in her eyes. They became bold and resolute, waiting to counter anything the elders could criticise.

Zuko decided to not leave. He had been the advocate for the case, after all. But he knew that, even if he wanted, he wouldn’t be able to help Katara. And even if he were able to, he didn’t think he should.

Once the four men were right in front of them, the man named Kosok, the oldest of the four, spoke.

“Katara, we’re afraid we judged you before we should have.” He had his hands behind his back and looked relaxed, a little smile on his lips. The other three men nodded, also smiling.

Katara was noticeably taken aback by his words. The man, nonetheless, continued talking.

“We are creatures of habit. We trust your father immeasurably to be the Chief of the Southern Water Tribe. He has led the tribe through the end and the aftermath of the Hundred Year War. We had also seen your brother’s predisposition to being a leader for the Tribe before.” Kosok moved his eyes from Katara to the other men before continuing, and Zuko saw a bit of shame in all their expressions. “We really didn’t expect you would be able to handle the Tribe’s issues.”

Katara smiled widely then. No malice could be seen on her face, but Zuko seemed to distinguish a bit of hurt on her expression.

For Zuko, the days of doubt and uncertainty were mostly over, as nearly ten years of being Fire Lord had given him some sort of confidence, but he knew from his own experience how much it hurt not being trusted by his own advisers and subordinates.

In the beginning of his reign, Zuko had done a lot of errors. Although he’d been aware of them at the time, and had been able to imagine what his councillors had thought of his decisions, hearing in one occasion some of his most trusted Ministers criticising him and his actions behind his back was what ultimately hurt him the most.

He had since proved them wrong and mended his errors, but he doubted he would ever be able to shake their whispered words out of him.

There was no doubt for Zuko that Kosok’s words, although reassuring and congratulating, had hurt Katara in some way. After all, he’d just admitted that they hadn’t trusted her until that moment.

Nevertheless, although Katara’s face showed hurt, her smile also displayed a bit of smugness. It sure felt good to prove them wrong of their assumptions.

“I hope we can continue to work together to manage the Tribe from now on,” Katara said and the elders nodded their heads approvingly.

Kosok looked around, checking if they were completely alone, before turning his head to look at Zuko.

“Fire Lord Zuko, we hope you’ve been having a good stay in the Southern Water Tribe.”

It had been so long since anybody had called him by his title that it even felt strange.

Nearly a decade of being “Fire Lord Zuko” instead of just “Zuko” had served him as an everyday reminder of his job and responsibility. But those past few weeks of everyone calling him just by his name were making him forget his reality.

It was much easier to just be Zuko, surrounded by people that didn’t expect grandiose things from him.

A bit dazed, Zuko replied.

“It’s been excellent so far. The people here have been nothing but nice.”

* * *

Later that evening, when Katara invited him to her house to have some tea and answer some letters, Zuko found it incredibly easy to ask Katara about the encounter with the elders.

“Things will definitely be easier from now on,” Katara said, her cup of tea in one hand and a letter in the other. “I think now they will want to help me manage the Tribe.”

“Have they just been leaving you alone handling the Tribe the whole time?” Zuko asked, bewildered. Although he’d figured something was wrong when he had arrived, he hadn’t known the full extent of the strife and animosity that existed between the elders and Katara. He’d believed the only issue was that elders didn’t approve of his stay there, but he’d certainly been very wrong.

Katara shrugged.

“It’s more that they were waiting for me to fail and explicitly ask for their help,” she said nonchalantly.

Zuko scowled.

“They said they trust Chief Hakoda, but do they really? They didn’t trust the person he left in charge,” he said. Katara smiled and nodded at that.

“The Southern Water Tribe is similar to its sister tribe in some aspects,” Katara explained. She was still grinning, but her smile had turned into a rather sad one. “I’m afraid their views of women are similar.”

Zuko knew a bit about that. More than thinking that women were less than men, it was that they believed both should have different roles in society. He remembered when, in the beginning of his reign, he had placed a woman, Lady Mazo, as the Fire Nation’s ambassador in the Northern Water Tribe. She had returned to the Fire Nation rather quickly, as she hadn’t been accepted by some of the elders of the Tribe.

“Water is the element of change, though, so I’m hoping Kosok and the others will be able to look past their prejudices,” Katara continued. “They have apologised, so I’m feeling quite optimistic about it all.”

The conversation seemed to end there and both of them continued drinking their tea. Zuko looked out from a little window in the hut. It was very dark outside. And it was snowing.

Snow was an ordinary sight there as rain was in the Fire Nation. He’d seen it various times in the short time he had stayed there, but it was still a surprising thing for him, so he watched spellbound as snowflakes fell.

“Do you miss the Fire Nation?” Katara asked suddenly and Zuko moved his gaze from the window and locked eyes with her. Her eyes were gentle, and her voice had been soft too.

Zuko thought about it.

“This place is comfortable and easy. I do miss home, but sometimes I forget about it,” he decided to say.

Zuko and Katara fell into silence again.

When they finished their tea, they started writing letters and it was a calm and placid time.

They didn’t talk much, both engrossed on their respective letters. They were so much absorbed, that when, occasionally, Zuko raised his eyes from the piece of paper, he got taken by surprise when he saw Katara was there too, just by his side. Their arms brushed from time to time and the place was so quiet that the rustling of the clothes was all that could be heard.

And when they needed to speak, their voices were soft and hushed, even if it wasn’t really necessary.

Snow fell all afternoon until it was time to have dinner and, even if it was all behind the window, the white gave a serene aura to the scene.

* * *

Days passed and the days continued to shorten. At first, it had been kind of hard for Zuko to get used to not seeing the sun for at least half of the day. In the Fire Nation, the days rarely got shorter or longer and so he had never been so aware of how much power the sun really gave him. Even if he rarely used his firebending powers, he could sense the decrease in them. The fire in his stomach and under his fingerprints was stable, but the flame wasn’t as vivid and sharp.

That didn’t really affect his everyday life and strength, but at first he found it annoying. As the weeks passed, though, he found comfort in the small but at the same time permanent fire inside him. The dark and the cold calmed his nerves and, maybe because of the peace in the Southern Water Tribe, he felt at ease like he had never before.

And if he ever felt too cold, he just had to think about the constant flame inside him, and it was like standing in front of a real fire.

He also found out that being next to other people made the coldness lessen. While, in the perennial summer of the Fire Nation, staying next to someone for a long time made the air sticky and hot, in the everlasting winter of the South Pole, everybody craved intimacy and closeness to get warmer.

Zuko cherished those moments and the fact that everybody was always willing to give hugs or to snuggle next to a fire.

Especially the kids of the village, since the moment they found out he was warmer than the average inhabitant of the Southern Water Tribe thanks to his firebending, would always fight to be next to him when, some nights, all the village would sit down to explain stories around a bonfire inside a large hut.

Usually it was the elders that explained traditional tales, but, sometimes, Katara would explain some of the adventures she, Sokka and her friends had lived with Aang.

Oftentimes Zuko was in them and Katara tried to not look at him when she mentioned, as she referred to him as, the ‘Fire Nation Prince’. It was in moments like these when he remembered that he wasn’t a real inhabitant of the Tribe, and that all the kids didn’t know who he really was.

But, nevertheless, it was very curious, and enjoyable too, to listen to Katara talk about him like he wasn’t right there and also to hear the children voice their brutally honest opinions on him while all the adults tried to hold their laughter.

It was after one of those nights that Katara approached him. Everybody was going home and the bonfire was nearly extinct. As some kids run by next to them, Katara got closer to him and spoke.

“In two weeks it will be the day of the winter solstice, and we are going to celebrate the most important festivity of the Southern Water Tribe, the Midwinter Festival. Would you like to participate?”

Katara’s words startled Zuko.

“It would be an honour to take part in it,” he said. When he had arrived at the Southern Water Tribe almost two months ago, not everybody had welcomed him, but it seemed that now everybody accepted his stay. He could feel nothing but gratitude and appreciation, and would happily help in everything he could and participate in everything they let him. “But only if the people in the village want me to. I wouldn’t want to intrude in a very important ritual of your people.”

Katara smiled appreciatively at his words.

“You don’t have to worry about intruding. The elders and all the adults of the Tribe have talked about it. You’re our guest, so we’d like you to take part in the Midwinter Festival. It would be an honour for us if you were present.”

“Then, the honour is all mine,” Zuko said gravely and nodded his head.

And so some days after that, the village started preparing for the festival. The fishermen started capturing more types of fish and animals than usual, preparing for the feast that would take place the day of the solstice. The women Zuko usually worked with sewing started making ornaments to wear that day and also embroidered jewels and other accessories in the clothes of everybody in the Tribe.

The atmosphere of the village started to change, everybody could sense how all grew excited and enthusiastic about the upcoming celebration. Even the kids, who mostly continued with their usual routines, could notice the change of mood in everybody.

Zuko sensed it too, and, despite the cold, he could feel the fire inside him growing agitated.

In the subsequent days, Katara was the one who explained to him all the details regarding the festival. The most important about it was a ritual to honour the spirits just before the feast.

“We honour the four most important spirits of the Southern Water Tribe,” Katara explained. “Of course the Moon and Ocean are the most important spirits for both the Water Tribes, but in the South there are other spirits we venerate.”

On her face Zuko could clearly see pride for her Tribe and its culture and heritage. He knew tradition was very important for her, and he understood her passion for it. After all, it gave her and her people identity and a foundation for their life. Their culture had also been endangered before and Katara knew more than anyone how important it was to teach the rituals and customs to the younger generations.

“There’s the Night Spirit, who bundles up the Moon after dusk,” Katara continued her explanation for Zuko, “and the Depths Spirit, who, from the bottom of the ocean, grows food so we can survive.” Zuko nodded, understanding. Katara had been smiling all that time, but then her grin turned into a small smirk. “And then there are the White and the Blue Spirits.”

Zuko’s eyes grew wide.

“The Blue Spirit?” he asked, and Katara nodded, laughing a bit at his dumbfounded expression.

“I thought I had mentioned to you before that we have a spirit called like that here,” she said.

Zuko shook his head. His masked identity’s nickname had not been something he’d given himself. When, so many years ago, he had chosen a mask from his mother’s collection that he had sort of inherited when she’d left the palace, he had just chosen that one because it was small and perfect for battle. After some time, he’d been known as the Blue Spirit and he had rolled with it.

It was quite curious that the Southern Water Tribe venerated an actual spirit called like that.

“The White and the Blue Spirits give colour and life to the Tribe. They are believed to be the ones that gave us the ice we walk on, which is our home,” Katara added, pointing at the white ice below their feet, “and the clothes we dress every day, which give us warmth.” And then she pointed at her own robes, which were, like everybody’s in the Tribe, blue.

It seemed fitting for Zuko that the colour blue was the symbol of warmth in the Tribe. In the last few months, he had also associated the otherwise cold colour with warmness and heat.

“So before the feast, four villagers will wear a mask representing each spirit to perform a dance and give an offering to them,” Katara further explained. “And that’s all I’m going to tell you. The rest, you’ll see for yourself.”

With that, she finished her explanation and Zuko was left to wonder how the ritual would be held exactly.

* * *

Quickly the day of the winter solstice arrived. That day the sun didn’t rise at all from the horizon. Because of that, the atmosphere was even colder than usual.

The Midwinter Festival started early on the morning. The younger kids played several games organized by the older children while the adults prepared the food for the night.

Zuko spent all day helping Hosaki, Mataka and other women, as they sometimes needed help with sewing something last minute and in other moments they asked him to get some type of food or ingredient in another part of the village.

He didn’t catch a glimpse of Katara all day, and it wasn’t until the evening that he believed he saw her for a moment, entering her hut. He contemplated following her to greet her for a moment, but decided against it. He was sure she was very busy preparing the festival and didn’t want to disturb her.

The time of the ritual arrived. Zuko followed the rest of the villagers to the main square, where the ritual would take place. The banquet that was held the day Zuko had arrived had taken place in a large snow hut, but that night, despite the cold, the celebration was done in the main square instead, outdoors under the night sky, and some people explained to Zuko that it was so they would be able to celebrate the night in all its splendour.

There were four drums in the main square that Zuko had never seen before. All were of different sizes, colours and textures, surrounding the fire in the centre of the place.

That night, Zuko felt that the fire was taller, bigger and warmer than usual, and while he sat down with the other people, the fire inside his stomach seemed to agree.

Soon everybody was seated all around the huge fire, talking excitedly to each other, Zuko sandwiched between Kaho and Sahi, who started talking with the people on their other sides.

Zuko didn’t talk with anybody, but instead found himself enthralled by the fire in front of him.

The fire was a lone patch of light in the ever-present darkness of winter in the South Pole, the only source of light in that long night.

Its reds and oranges contrasted heavily with the cold colours of the South Pole. It was all alone between the blues and whites of the Tribe.

However, fire was something even the Water Tribes needed. Even if it was the opposite of water, it was something essential for them. In the Fire Nation, fire was everywhere, even in places where it wasn’t really necessary. In the South Pole, fire was always necessary, but at the same time it was uncommon, a scarce resource.

Zuko thought that that huge and powerful fire, alone in the dark winter, in some way, resembled him, a Fire Nation person in the cold of the South Pole. That fire, so essential, fit in all the water and cold, and he wondered if he fit too. He didn’t know why, but he hoped he did.

Zuko’s train of thought was interrupted when, suddenly, Kosok, who was standing by the largest drum’s side, signalled the villagers present to stop talking and, then, spoke himself.

“The Ritual of the Four Spirits is about to start.”

Thereupon four men got up from their seats. Each of them approached one of the drums and then started playing the instruments following a steady rhythm. The sounds were constant and, after some time, from Kosok’s back, four figures appeared, all wearing huge masks.

The four people approached the fire and started circling it, at first, not doing anything else, but soon enough, they started moving to the sound of the drums. Their dance was first captivating and then hypnotizing.

So hypnotizing that it wasn’t until after some minutes of Zuko just watching the masks and their dance, that he realised some older women had started to sing along. Their voices were low and rhythmic and the song was very different from the ones Zuko could hear in the Fire Nation. He recognized they were chanting some words, but he couldn’t understand the language.

Zuko fixed his gaze on the masks. Each one was more grotesque than the other.

One of the masks was completely white, large and round, but its face was small and contorted, and Zuko concluded it represented the White Spirit.

Another one was long, painted dark, with a small mouth and with a single giant grey eye in its centre. Zuko believed it belonged to the Night Spirit.

The third one was the one Zuko deduced depicted the Depths Spirit. It was the most colourful of the four, its background black but with depictions of different animals in it.

The last one was painted dark blue, but it had white lines that traced the exaggerated features of the mask. Its nose and eyes were big and stood out from it and the white lines and the shadows the fire casted into it only made the features stand out more. The person wearing the Blue Spirit’s mask was smaller than the rest, a woman, and Zuko recognized that it was Katara.

Upon realising, Zuko couldn’t take his eyes off her for the rest of the dance.

* * *

The moon was high in the sky by the time the ritual ended. The villagers gathered around several small and low tables, where the food had already been laid out. Zuko had seen all the food before, either before or after its preparation, but seeing it all together made it all more spectacular.

All types of fish and shellfish were available, as well as some meat the villagers had hunted and even some they had bought from other places of the world. There was seaweed, all cooked in different ways, and also a big variety of liquors and juices to drink. They were all very hungry, so nobody doubted and started eating.

Soon, Katara and the three other men that had participated in the ritual appeared again and also joined the banquet.

The dinner passed in a blur for Zuko. He ate, talked, laughed and drank a bit. The fire inside him burned heavily, more zealous than usual, and made him forget the coldness of the night.

He spent the majority of the time bouncing between talking with Katara or other adults and being dragged by some of the kids to play with them.

Since they had discovered he was a firebender, it wasn’t unusual for the younger kids to ask him to do tricks with his bending and, although he usually never complied, the relaxed and upbeat atmosphere of the celebration made him cave in that night. Granted, he only showed the kids little flames, but that was enough to impress them.

Too soon the feast finished. The large fire in the main square was put out and everybody started going to their respective huts, either to rest or to continue the celebration in smaller groups. And with that, the village went from glowing and lively to dark and quiet.

It was freezing, but Zuko still felt the same heat inside him.

Katara had been in a particular good mood that night. She had talked with so many people and had laughed all the time.

She had glowed like a small fire, and Zuko had watched her all the time, his eyes glued to her, unable to tear his gaze away from her. Even after the dinner had ended, her cheeks were flushed and she still looked like she was shining.

She invited him to her hut and Zuko accepted, something akin to thrill piercing through him.

The main room of the place was dark and cold and Zuko decided to light a fire in the hearth. As he did so, Katara just by his side, she spoke. Her voice was suddenly dim and muted, contrasting with her mood just before, and it sent a shiver down Zuko’s spine.

“Did you have fun tonight?” she asked. The fire in the hearth started to burn and they both turned away a bit from its flames. Their arms brushed.

“I did. I had a very good time,” Zuko answered honestly, looking at the fire.

“I noticed the fire burned in a different way today,” Katara said and Zuko turned to look at her in the eye, surprised. She was close and watched him keenly, with a calm expression.

“What fire?” Zuko asked. Katara tilted her head to a side.

“The fire in the hearth of the main square,” she explained, “it was bigger and glowed more brightly than usual. Did you do it?”

Zuko opened his mouth a bit, surprised, and shook his head. Then he remembered how fascinated he’d been with the fire earlier and wondered if he, although unconsciously, had maybe done something to it.

“If I did, it wasn’t on purpose,” Zuko finally said.

After that, they both sat down on the ground, close to the fire.

“You looked like you had a lot of fun too,” Zuko said after some time.

Katara made a small laugh, probably remembering the dinner.

“I did. I had a very good time,” she said. She moved her gaze from Zuko to the fire.

Since they had entered her hut, Katara had turned quieter. She didn’t look sad, the joy from before still visible on her face, but rather she was melancholic.

“Now I’m remembering all the people that usually are here for the festival, but aren’t this year – Sokka, Dad and Gran Gran,” she explained. “I miss them.”

“I miss the Fire Nation too,” Zuko said. He was looking at Katara, and her eyes reflected the fire next to them.

He really couldn’t help Katara in any way, he couldn’t bring back these people that were on the other side of the world, but he hoped that she knew that, in some way, he could understand her longing. “I am here, if it’s any consolation.”

Katara then turned her gaze from the hearth and looked him right in the eye.

The hut was completely dark and cold. Its centre was the only warm place. There was the fire, burning fiercely and red. And there was them, bundled in warm clothes and close to the fire. And close to each other too. Zuko doubted he had never felt so much warmth before. And it was because of Katara. She alone was warmer than any fire in the entire world.

Zuko missed his home, his land and his people. That wasn’t false. But, at the same time, he knew without a doubt that there was nowhere in the world where he would rather be than where he was right now.

If he was asked right in that moment to leave his real life behind, he would, as selfish as that sounded.

“I want to stay here forever,” he said and decided to not think about how bad that could sound.

“Where? In the Tribe?” Katara asked, her voice merely a whisper. She got closer to him, probably without realising, still looking at him intently. “Or with me?” she finished.

“In the Tribe, and with you,” Zuko said, also a murmur, and looked at her lips.

They moved forward and their mouths united halfway.

The kiss started slow, patient, both savouring each other’s warmth. Zuko didn’t think Katara had a fire inside her the way he did, but kissing her, he could sense heat radiating from her. That same warmness he had felt before, that she always exuded, was now heat.

Zuko’s hands covered her flushed cheeks and Katara’s whole body got closer and pressed into his. She put her hands on his chest and they seemed to burn through his clothes. The kiss continued, but it turned more hurried. Their mouths moved with hunger as Katara sat on his lap and her hands moved from his chest to the back of his neck, pulling his mouth even closer to hers, if that was even possible. Their tongues united while Zuko’s hands descended on Katara’s body and he held her waist.

The heat was becoming unbearable and, as they both separated to catch their breath for a moment, Zuko saw the fire next to them was burning with more intensity. It had grown considerably taller and, that time, Zuko had no doubt it’d been him.

Katara also noticed the fire and made a small laugh. However, she paid no more attention to it and looked at Zuko with gleaming eyes.

“Do you want to go to my bedroom?” she asked, her voice low and serious. Excitement rushed through Zuko as he nodded vigorously.

They hastily got up without letting go of each other, their limbs still tangled, and then they dashed to her room, in one of the wings of the hut.

Katara’s room was small, heavily decorated with objects not only from her Tribe, but also from all parts of the world.

They went straight to the bed. It was small, clearly made for only one person, and made out of furs.

As they undressed each other, cold and darkness scratched at their skin. The air was sharp and bit their skin, but their tender caresses made up for it. The room had no source of heat or light, but it wasn’t really necessary. They embraced each other inside the furs of the bed and that was enough.

As they held each other, Zuko forgot. He forgot about everything that wasn’t that place, or that moment. He revelled in the warmth, in Katara, and pushed everything else out of his mind. Zuko didn’t need anything else, didn’t need any more warmth.

It was all there, touching him, whispering his name and holding him close.

The longest and darkest night of the year was the warmest for Zuko. And, as she whispered him later in the night, it was for Katara too.

* * *

When Zuko woke up the next morning, he quickly realised it was very late. It was still dark, but he knew the day wouldn’t be much less darker than the day before. Still, he could hear movement outside the hut, the village having started a lazy day after a long night.

Katara was in his arms, their limbs all tangled in a too tight bed. However, in the cold weather, that small bed was very much preferable to a big and wide one.

They were both naked, but their skin only touched other skin and fur, safe from the crisp air that kissed Zuko’s face.

Katara was still asleep when he woke up, snuggling in his body, her breath brushing against his chest. Zuko tried not to move and just watched Katara as she slept, her face calm. But it was inevitable. After some moments he felt her stirring and, soon, she looked up in his direction.

“Good morning,” Zuko said, smiling slightly at her sleepy expression.

“Good morning,” Katara answered, her voice sloppy. Then she detached the arm she had around him and disentangled her legs from his. Zuko didn’t like that at all, but didn’t say anything.

Inside the bed, it was impossible for them not to brush. Katara looked around the room before speaking again, their legs still pressed together.

“What time is it?”

“I don’t know, but I hear sound outside already,” Zuko answered, looking at her. Katara then turned her gaze to his and, for a short moment, neither said anything.

Katara’s face was growing red at each passing moment and Zuko deduced that he should do something about it.

“Maybe I should get dressed,” Zuko said. He tried to sit up on the bed, but it turned out to be more difficult than expected because of its size. Katara nodded at his words and helped him in his task, untangling their cover.

After that, he was out of the bed rather easily. The air was even colder than it had seemed beforehand and Zuko got goose bumps. He scrambled to grab his clothes, which were, together with Katara’s, rumpled next to them.

Without looking at her, and a little bit embarrassed to show his naked body now that he was out of the comfort of the bed, he started dressing himself. He wasn’t looking in Katara’s direction, but he noticed that she was still in bed, staring intently at him while he dressed himself.

Soon Zuko was fully clothed, only his overcoat missing. He turned his gaze to look at her. Her cheeks were still tinted red and she was fidgeting under the covers of the bed. He opened his mouth to speak, but doubted for a moment. He didn’t want to discomfort her. Nonetheless, he spoke.

“Aren’t you going to get dressed?” Katara’s cheeks grew redder and she fidgeted more at his words.

Zuko’s heart sank. Katara was feeling uncomfortable. She was probably regretting last night and didn’t know how to tell him. His thoughts could probably be seen on his face, because she spoke, reassuring.

“I liked tonight,” Katara murmured. She sat up, still covering herself, and Zuko smiled, relieved.

“I liked it too,” he answered.

“It’s just that showing my naked body is something very intimate for me,” Katara explained.

Zuko understood that. He himself had felt self-conscious when he had dressed himself just before.

Still, he wondered if there was something more that explained Katara’s reticence.

Clothes were a societal expectation everywhere in the world, but he had learned over the past few months that clothes maybe held a deeper significance in the Water Tribes than in other places. The hot weather in the Fire Nation invited to wear less and lighter clothes, while there, in the South Pole, you could rarely ever see anybody’s skin apart from their face and, occasionally, their hands.

Granted, showing your whole naked body was something intimate everywhere and for everyone, even in the hottest parts of the world. But in the freezing weather of the Poles, clothes were something that was omnipresent and deeply necessary for one’s survival.

Except, maybe, when one was in the warmth of one’s own home and snuggled to one’s loved ones.

Katara smiled and grabbed a strand of her hair, wriggling it between her fingers, but she didn’t look his way.

“I didn’t feel that shy when I used to live in other places. I don’t know why,” she said. “Maybe it’s the cold,” she added, and shrugged her shoulders.

Zuko shook his head.

“No, don’t worry,” he said earnestly, “I will leave first if that makes you feel better.”

He started to get up from he was seated, some feet away from Katara, but it was her moment to shake her head fervently.

“No, I want you to stay,” she said with resolution and firmness in her voice. Zuko seemed to see a little pout in her expression.

“Alright,” Zuko said and sat down again. He pondered if he should have said something more, or if it would be better if he looked away.

Ultimately, he wasn’t able to tear his gaze away from her as she lowered the covers hiding her body and grabbed her clothes. He didn’t move his eyes as she started dressing herself, and Katara looked at him intently too, her eyes sheepish, but somewhat flirtatious at the same time. First, she put on her pants, slowly, and then she got into her top. Then, she got up and, her eyes still locked with Zuko’s, she put on a long dress. When she was done and fully dressed, she approached him and sat down in front of him.

“Did you mean what you said yesterday?” she asked him and looked directly into his eyes, like she wanted to extract the truth out of them.

“What thing are you referring to?” Zuko said, tilting his head.

“That you want to stay here with me forever,” Katara said, and her eyes pierced through him like a dagger. Zuko couldn’t look away nor couldn’t deflect the question.

“I meant it,” Zuko answered and only then he allowed himself to look down. He didn’t want to think about why that made him feel so selfish.

For some moments, neither said anything. Katara put her warm hands on his cheeks and he felt like his face was being protected from the sharp cold. She was still looking at him closely, but he couldn’t bring himself to look back at her.

“Then stay here with me,” she said, and kissed him fully on the lips. The kiss was brimming with fervour and sincerity and Zuko didn’t doubt complying with her words.


	3. of blues and remembrance

From that moment on, Zuko’s and Katara’s relationship changed. They didn’t give each other anymore explanations after that first morning together, they just followed the flow, like sea had taken them with its waves and they couldn’t do anything about it.

They spent together all the time it was feasible. During the morning they usually did their tasks – Zuko helping some women of the village sewing, Katara handling the matters of the Tribe and teaching the waterbending children.

But after having lunch, Zuko went to Katara’s hut and stayed there the remainder of the day.

It was like the tides, caused by the push and pull of both the Moon and the Sun. They could be separate in the mornings, but a gravitational pull brought them together after noon.

They attempted to write some letters and then, after having a tea mid-afternoon, they gave up on the task and simply just were together. They kissed, they caressed each other, and hugged and cuddled. And they usually made love too.

They also talked a lot, had conversations that lasted long into the night. They could be either about their adventures during the war or about their life there. Sometimes they chatted about Katara’s duties in the Tribe and sometimes about the tasks Zuko did in the village. In some occasions, Zuko even ended up explaining Katara the gossips of the Tribe the women had told him. A lot of days they even completely forgot to eat proper dinner, but hungry stomachs didn’t bother them at all.

They forgot to put on a charade most of the time. Zuko stayed with Katara almost every night and, when he had to leave the next morning, he could only pray nobody saw him leave her house. When they were together with other people, they both found it hard to take their eyes off the other. They knew better than to tell anyone, but Zuko suspected some of the people of the village knew about their relationship. Despite that, he honestly couldn’t care less. He didn’t mention it to Katara and, if she had noticed too, she didn’t tell him either.

Sometimes, Zuko would attend Katara’s waterbending lessons. She was teaching three kids at the moment, two girls and one boy. The oldest was Kada, that ten-year-old girl that had burst into Katara’s hut to show her a waterbending move on Zuko’s second day in the Tribe. Of the three, she was the one who could do more advanced moves, as the other two were younger and had just started learning. Mobat was seven and Zuko had heard Katara say that he had problems with his position when bending. Namara was six and was still a little scared to try the things Katara taught her.

One of those days in which Zuko attended a lesson, Katara asked him to help her with it.

“Would you like to do a demonstration, a mock battle between the two?” Katara asked him before the kids arrived at the small square in the village where the lessons took place. “I’m sure the children would love it!”

Zuko agreed, eager to use his fire like he hadn’t done in months. The fire inside of him wasn’t as powerful as it was in the summer of the Fire Nation, but he felt how it still grew excited for the opportunity to be let out.

The kids were ecstatic too when Katara told them the plan for the day.

However, to the reality that Zuko hadn’t trained in months, he had to add the fact that the environment didn’t help him one bit. They were surrounded by water and it was dark, as the sun would still rise only for a short hour at noon.

He was able to hold his ground for a bit, but when Katara decided to show the children some really advanced moves, Zuko wasn’t able to do anything. He ended up soaked in water.

Zuko thought he would feel at least a bit humiliated, but when he saw the three kids cheering for Katara, euphoric to learn all those waterbending moves, and Katara elated and exultant, Zuko really didn’t care about his defeat.

When the class ended, Katara approached him a little bit sheepish.

“I’m sorry if I went too far. I wouldn’t want you to feel bad,” she said.

“No, it was alright. I’m sure the kids will be more motivated for the next class,” Zuko assured.

“I hope so,” Katara said and her smile was so dazzling that Zuko had to fight the urge to kiss her.

Another day in which Zuko attended a waterbending lesson, Kada arrived more excited than usual and showed them a necklace. Zuko noted that it was very similar to Katara’s, a carved blue jewel held by a collar of the same colour.

“Haroka has given it to me!” she said, enthusiastic, and Zuko remembered Haroka was a kid about Kada’s age. “When we grow up, we’re gonna get married!” she added, proud.

Mobat and Namara looked closely at the necklace, while Zuko moved his eyes from Kada to Katara. He didn’t need to ask anything, because soon Katara explained the situation.

“In the Northern Water Tribe there’s the tradition that men carve a necklace like this to their future brides. They are called betrothal necklaces. Haroka’s family has recently travelled to the North Pole, so I guess he picked up the custom and wanted to do the same.” Zuko nodded, understanding, but then his eyes darted to Katara’s necklace. She noticed, so she clutched it and added. “This was my grandmother’s betrothal necklace, who was from the Northern Water Tribe. She then gave it to my mother, and then I inherited it.”

Zuko already knew that Katara’s necklace used to be her mother’s, but he had no idea of all its history.

The lesson started and Zuko stayed there, keeping an eye on it while his mind wandered.

That custom wasn’t from the South, but Zuko wondered if Katara would like to receive a betrothal necklace from her fiancé nevertheless. He reasoned that she probably wouldn’t. She wasn’t too in favour of the South mimicking customs from the North just because, as she advocated for the South’s own traditions.

Not only that, but if she received a new necklace, she would have to choose which to wear between the two, and that would be a difficult decision to make.

Zuko shook his head. He shouldn’t be thinking about that. It was inappropriate, even if he didn’t want to know why it was. He concentrated instead on the lesson in front of him, and watched as Katara moved and talked.

She taught with kindness and patience, but in her voice there was clear passion for the subject. Katara loved her home, and her element, that was obvious for Zuko, and he loved that about her.

By the time the class ended and he and Katara went to her hut, Zuko had completely forgotten about betrothal necklaces and about future fiancés.

Because whatever they did and whatever they talked about, during that time Zuko didn’t even think once about their future.

Or he never once thought about his position in the Fire Nation or about what the current situation could be in his Palace.

He left all of that on the backburner, completely consumed by his life in the South Pole. Katara didn’t mention it either, and, for Zuko, that served as an excuse.

If, from time to time, usually in the calm of the night, all of that threatened to return to his consciousness, Zuko hugged Katara tighter and concentrated on her smell and the heat of her body.

With Katara, it was constant warmth in full winter for Zuko. And that was enough. It was enough for Zuko being able to spend most of his days in the arms of the warmest thing in the world.

Katara laughed when he told her that and answered him that that wasn’t possible, that he was supposed to be the one with the inner fire and the warm body in the relationship. And Zuko loved seeing her happy, but he loved it even more when he was the cause of her laugh.

And so neither of them thought too much about what it all meant. Zuko didn’t let himself think about it. He let the fiction take over his life and didn’t let himself regret it.

If he had to choose what his most treasured memory of that period of their relationship was, Zuko could only think about the snowstorm.

It was, of course, the middle of winter, and the sky had progressively gone from clear to heavily overcast. Everybody in the Tribe knew what would happen and they all prepared for it. Everyone stopped their activities for a few days and stayed home to keep safe from the incoming blizzard.

Katara invited him to stay with her during that time and he accepted.

The storm lasted two days and a half and, after that, the sky was clearer than ever.

It was during the most severe moment of the storm, when the air howled so powerfully that it was deafening and they practically couldn’t hear each other, that Katara said the words.

It was dark, like usual, and they had lighted up a small fire on Katara’s room, although it was constantly on the verge of dying out.

They were huddled next to the other, not doing anything in particular, only watching the fire spellbound. Time was difficult to count in the never-ending darkness of winter in the South Pole as it was, but staying indoors at all hours made time pass in a completely different way. It could have been noon or the dead of night.

But the only thing important for Zuko were Katara’s words.

“I love you,” she said. And after that, she didn’t move, like she hadn’t said anything at all. But despite the wind, he had heard the words loud and clear.

Zuko took away his eyes off the fire and looked at her face. Her expression was vulnerable, as if she was totally naked in front of him. He waited until she moved her eyes from the fire too before responding.

“I love you too.” He felt how the always-steady fire inside him trembled for a moment, maybe because of the cold, or maybe because of fear.

Katara put an ungloved hand on his cheek and brushed his lips with her thumb. Zuko closed his eyes and leaned on her hand.

“I love you,” he repeated, this time quieter, like he was talking to her thumb. Despite the confession, Zuko felt inexplicably sad. And he couldn’t understand why. He didn’t want to understand why.

When, his eyes still closed, he felt Katara brushing his lips with hers, he sensed sadness in her too. They kissed with more urgency and Zuko felt the sorrow wash away.

Zuko knew in that moment that he would remember that instant for a long time, even if it brought an ache he didn’t understand to his chest.

* * *

Their relationship continued, that moment firmly locked in their hearts. The snowstorm ended and the life in the village continued like usual.

It was a day in which he woke up in his own bed. The day before Katara had had to attend a meeting with the elders of the Tribe and they hadn’t been able to spend the night together.

The sun was starting to show itself more and more these days. Even if it was still only some hours late in the morning, Zuko cherished its weak rays.

Just as Zuko exited his hut, still early in the morning, he saw Sahi and Dasaro passing by, talking loudly. They saw him too and, with brightness in their faces, they approached him.

“Zuko!” Sahi exclaimed when they were nearly just in front of him. “We are gonna go play just outside of the village. All the kids will be there. Do you wanna come?” he said.

Zuko smiled and raised an eyebrow.

“Outside of the village? Is someone accompanying you?” Zuko asked.

Sahi nodded sharply before answering.

“Kaho and Somok are accompanying us.” Zuko nodded too, approving.

“Good,” Zuko said. “I’m sorry, but I can’t go. I have work to do today.” He had hardly finished talking when Dasaro, who had been silent all this time, suddenly asked.

“Why didn’t you sleep with Katara tonight?”

Zuko’s eyes grew wide and he stuttered, unable to form an answer. He looked at Dasaro, who appeared calm, like that had been the most normal question to ask. By her side, Sahi nodded, agreeing with his friend’s question.

Zuko still couldn’t say anything. His heart started beating unbearably fast. Upon seeing his reaction, Sahi’s expression turned worried.

“Are you alright?” he asked, concern in his voice. “Did you two break up?”

Zuko shook his head with fervour and finally was able to form a coherent answer.

“No,” he said, and then added, “I mean– we aren’t–” Zuko wanted to stop talking. He didn’t want to lie to the children, but he couldn’t tell them the truth either. He himself wasn’t even sure what the truth was. “Everything is alright,” he concluded, more blunt than he intended.

And without saying anything else, he went away from the place, face red and leaving the kids confused.

He hastily arrived at the hut where he used to work. The majority of the women he worked with were already there, preparing their tools and needles.

Because of his encounter with Sahi and Dasaro, Zuko’s heart still beat with full force. He decided the best thing he could do was get to work and, together with some of the other women, he started his work for the day.

Although Zuko had been taught sewing by his mother when he was little, when he had arrived at the Southern Water Tribe it had been years since the last time he had done the activity. And there was also the fact that the sewing technique in the Water Tribes was very much different from the embroidery he used to do with his mother.

After some days, though, he’d got the method down and had started to actually be able to help the women. He still was only able to mend clothes or do small projects, but he felt quite proud of his improvement nevertheless.

The mornings usually passed quickly, either because he got engrossed on his task or because he listened to the women of the village explain stories. They always seemed to have things to explain or gossip to tell.

After some time, he finally was able to calm down. However, it didn’t last for long, because Kisaro entered the hut. She usually worked there, so Zuko didn’t give it much importance, too concentrated on his work. He greeted her, like he always did.

Kisaro, though, was also Dasaro’s mother, and Zuko didn’t realize the importance of this fact until she was just right in front of him, with her arms crossed and one eyebrow raised.

“Say, Zuko. Are you and Katara ever going to explain what is going on between you two?” The question fell on him like a downpour.

Everyone turned their heads in their direction.

When it looked like Zuko wasn’t going to give a quick explanation, Kisaro continued talking, although it was more an explanation for the rest of the people present than for Zuko.

“Dasaro has just told me that she has asked Zuko about it, but he hasn’t actually answered.” She then turned her head towards him again, her eyes narrowed. “And now I’m thinking that you two haven’t actually explained to anybody anything about your relationship.”

Zuko had already known that it was obvious for everyone in the village that Katara and he were in some sort of relationship. Although they hadn’t wanted to tell anyone, they hadn’t exactly been very subtle either. But despite all that, he didn’t have an explanation ready for them.

They spent all the time they could together, they talked for hours on end, but, Zuko now realised, they hadn’t talked about the most important thing.

It came crashing down on him in that instant, while Kisaro and the rest of the women watched him, waiting for him to provide them with a long explanation.

He realised who he really was, outside of that small village in the Southern Water Tribe.

He suddenly remembered his responsibilities, his role and his obligations. He also remembered why he was there in the first place.

And, above all, he realised what he couldn’t give Katara.

He had been lying to himself, telling himself that it was alright to live in a fabrication for some time, that it was possible to start a relationship with someone and fall in love with them.

And he had deceived Katara. He’d started a relationship with her even if that would only hurt her, even if he would hurt her. He let it have meaning, even if it couldn’t mean anything.

“I’m sorry,” Zuko said, and he didn’t know if he said that to the women surrounding him or if the words were meant for Katara.

For nearly a month, he’d made himself believe that everything would be okay if he was with Katara. And on the surface, they were okay, but in reality, they had been hurting each other.

“You’re sorry for what?” one of the women, called Edak, said with pungent voice. She was one of the oldest people in the village, around the same age as Kanna, Katara’s grandmother, and was greatly respected by all the men and women of the village.

“I’m not being fair to Katara,” Zuko answered. He couldn’t bear looking at them, so he fixed his eyes on his hands and on the pants he’d been working on. He saw from the corner of his eye how all the women present looked between themselves, as if communicating with just their eyes.

After some moments, all seemed to have come to an agreement and Edak spoke again.

“We have talked amongst ourselves about this issue for some weeks now,” she started. Zuko made an effort to lift his head and looked directly at the woman talking. “You and Katara have seemed to enter into some sort of courtship, but we can’t wrap our heads around how it would exactly work in the future.” The rest of the women nodded their heads, agreeing with her words. “You certainly aren’t going to live here for long. What are your intentions regarding your relationship with Katara?”

Edak then kept quiet, probably waiting for a response from Zuko.

Zuko simply didn’t have an answer. His intentions had been staying there for all the time he could, and he hadn’t thought beyond that.

When Zuko didn’t answer, Kisaro, still standing just in front of him, talked.

“You want her to return with you to the Fire Nation, don’t you?” she accused.

“You wouldn’t do that, right, Zuko?” It was Mataka, who talked directly after Kisaro. Zuko looked at her, and saw evident worry in her eyes.

If Katara and he wanted to continue their relationship after his stay in the Tribe ended, an option would be her to come with him to the Fire Nation. Zuko knew that was simply not possible.

Of course there was the fact that nobody in the Fire Nation would accept the Fire Lord having a relationship with somebody from another country. But, most importantly, it was that Zuko couldn’t do that to Katara, or to the Southern Water Tribe.

She would be tied to the place, with him but without everything else she loved. Her life was there, in the South Pole. She was the only master waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe and, apart from that, she held an important position in the Tribe.

But even if she wasn’t any of that, that was her home, her land. He couldn’t ask her to leave all of that behind to be with him in a place where so many people would hate her just for who she was.

And as all the women looked at him, eagerly awaiting a response from him, he realised he couldn’t do that to them either. He couldn’t strip them of Katara, who they all loved so dearly.

They would hate him, he would hate himself.

And, even if Katara were to agree to go with him, she would end up loathing him.

“I wouldn’t ask Katara to return with me,” he finally answered.

“Then, what is going to happen when you leave?” Edak asked without waiting a second more. Her voice was poignant, she already knew the answer to the question.

Zuko would leave her.

He would have to leave her behind, his warmth, and his love.

Zuko covered his face with his hands and his voice was muffled when he spoke.

“I need to talk with Katara.”

“You haven’t talked about it yet?” Hosaki said, and Zuko had never seen her angry before, always so gentle with even the more troublesome kids.

“Zuko,” Edak said. Her voice was low and firm and commanded a lot of respect. Zuko looked directly at her. “We haven’t said anything before because we believed it wasn’t our business. You are both experienced and mature adults. But Katara is clearly in love with you, so maybe that’s why she didn’t tell you anything. You are going to leave, and you aren’t being fair to her.” She seemed to have finished, but added. “You can be a king in your country, but here Katara is our priority.”

Zuko promptly got up from his seat. He knew what he had to do. Katara and he needed to talk. He owed her an explanation and they needed to face their future.

* * *

Zuko left the hut and made for Katara’s home. A part of him wanted to wait some time, to reflect on his feelings and on what he wanted to say, but he feared that if he thought about it too much he would back out. And he couldn’t do that. Because even if the easiest option would be to not address their situation and just deal with the problem when the time came, they didn’t deserve that.

On his way there, Zuko wondered why Katara hadn’t brought up the topic before. Was it because, like him, she had been living in the clouds and forgotten their impending future? Or had she been avoiding the issue, like he was so tempted to do now?

He couldn’t think much about it, because soon he was right in front of Katara’s door. He closed his eyes and inhaled and exhaled slowly. And without thinking much more, he raised his hand and knocked on the door.

There was no option of backing down anymore.

“Come in,” a voice from inside said and Zuko opened the door.

Katara was in her desk, working, hunched over some documents and her brows furrowed in concentration. It reminded Zuko so much of the day he first arrived at the South Pole, when Hosaki had brought him in there.

That day, Zuko hadn’t still forgotten about his real life. That day, he had been so nervous about his subordinates in the Fire Nation, which were putting their lives in danger for him. That day, he had felt so useless and restless. Zuko felt even worse for having forgotten all of that while staying in the Southern Water Tribe.

Katara lifted her eyes from her work.

“What are you doing here?” she looked a bit taken aback, they didn’t usually see each other so early in the morning. But still, Zuko could see how her eyes softened.

Zuko closed the door behind his back and approached Katara’s desk in a few steps. He summoned all the determination and courage he had.

“We need to talk,” he said, voice low and serious.

Katara’s expression changed, dread apparent in her face.

“About what?” she said, but the uneasiness in her voice showed that she knew exactly what was going on.

“About our future,” Zuko said, stern.

Katara then closed her eyes and, as Zuko had done just a few moments ago, inhaled and exhaled deeply, preparing herself for the conversation that was about to happen.

Zuko said nothing and just waited.

Katara got up from her seat and opened her eyes. Sharp eyes pierced through him.

“I knew this conversation would have to happen sooner or later,” Katara said. “I thought I would be ready, but it turns out I was not.” She let out a small laugh, but her face stayed serious.

“So, all this time, you were aware this time would come?” Zuko asked.

“Sooner or later we would have had to talk about it,” Katara answered. Then, she added, talking slowly. “About how the thing we have is supposed to work out when you leave.”

Zuko moved his head and looked around the room, not knowing how to continue now that the topic had been established so bluntly. His arms shifted uncomfortable by his sides. He looked again in Katara’s direction.

“Well, the thing is that I forgot,” he said. “I completely forgot that I would have to return.” There was evident strain in his voice.

Katara nodded and looked down before talking, reminiscing.

“I understand. Sometimes I was able to forget too. When things were easy, it was effortless to not think about the future, to ignore it. But I didn’t completely forget about it. There were times it was too difficult to forget about it.” Katara looked to the side, still not looking in his direction. “That first time, when you said you wanted to stay here. Or when we said we loved each other.”

Zuko remembered the sadness he could feel coming from the both of them in that occasion, the day of the storm. He hadn’t known why he had felt so melancholic, but he realised in that moment that probably some part of him remembered what he had been trying so hard to forget. That they wouldn’t be able to be together forever.

“I’m sorry,” Zuko said, eyes cast down. “I’m sorry for not remembering.”

Katara shook her head and looked up at him.

“Don’t be. I wanted to forget too. I wanted to believe it was real,” she said. “Sometimes I asked myself if you were really aware of the reality, but I honestly envied that ability to forget you seemed to have.”

“We made things complicated,” Zuko said after some seconds.

“We really did,” Katara agreed. There was silence for some moments before she spoke again. “Do you regret having started what we have?” For a moment, Zuko could have sworn he could recognize doubt in her voice, but, as he looked up, her eyes were firm and solid.

‘What-we-have’ was a curious way to name their relationship. Zuko, however, understood it was difficult to call themselves in any other way. Their relationship had an expiration date. Did that make them a couple? Lovers? The best way of calling it was, probably, friends that shouldn’t love each other that way but did. If that was the case, it was easier to just call it ‘what-we-have’.

Zuko thought about Katara’s question. Certainly everything would have been easier if they hadn’t started whatever they had.

But now Zuko couldn’t imagine his life without that part of himself. The part that unabashedly loved warm Katara in the cold weather of the South Pole.

It had been his decision to forget about his real life and his position as Fire Lord. He had wanted to love Katara without shame and without worries and without doubt, and he had decided to completely immerse himself in it.

Zuko shook his head vehemently, his eyes locked with Katara’s.

“I don’t regret it. I went in knowing the consequences,” he said. “Do you?”

Katara didn’t doubt one bit before responding.

“I don’t regret it either.” She spoke without taking her eyes off him. “I knew it was a bad idea, but I didn’t really care.” She then averted her gaze and hugged herself. “I love how you love me, like it is possible to just have a life together.”

“I love loving you,” Zuko said, and he felt his cheeks grow red. Katara smiled softly at that.

“I wanted to feel like we were really together, like we could really be each other’s,” Katara continued explaining and Zuko nodded at her words. She was describing her own emotions, but these words fit Zuko’s like a glove.

“You felt selfish,” Zuko said, understanding.

“I felt selfish, yeah.” Katara was still not looking at him.

“I did too,” he said, and Katara’s eyes finally locked with his. “And I still feel selfish.” It was nearly a whisper.

“I do too,” Katara responded, nodding and smiling a bit.

A silence settled over them, both unsure how to continue. One thing was confessing their feelings and their selfishness, but it was something totally different to agree on continuing their relationship. They couldn’t choose to just ignore the future they faced, because that would make everything more difficult and hurtful.

“Should we continue what we have?” Zuko asked tentatively. For the first time in the conversation, he moved forward and stood just in front of Katara’s desk, barely touching it with his fingertips. The only thing separating them was that table.

“I still want to be with you,” Katara said. Her eyes lingered on his hands, which were still hovering over the desk. Zuko considered removing them, but decided against it. Katara continued. “It’s going to hurt even if we stop now.”

Her reasoning made sense to Zuko and so he nodded.

“We can try to make use of the time we have,” he said.

Katara nodded too. Then she walked around the table and stopped when she was just in front of him. She took his hands in hers, and Zuko noticed that his were incredibly cold. He leaned forward and kissed Katara on the lips.

Now that they had faced their fate, their relationship would inevitably change. But the only thing they could do was seize the moment and live in a different way, more intensely.

They couldn’t act a like a regular couple that had a whole life ahead of them. Their only option was to love the other with more vigour, like every time was the last.

And it very much could be. It dawned on Zuko that a letter from the Fire Nation could come anytime.

He kissed Katara more deeply, trying to ingrain in his memory her lips and the warmth that she emanated.

When they separated, Zuko felt lightheaded, but he soon was brought back to reality with Katara’s words. She was hugging him, her face on his chest and her touch tender.

“What made you wake up? How come you suddenly remembered?” she asked.

Zuko remembered his talk with some of the women of the village and fidgeted in his place. His arms around Katara, he rested his chin on her head.

He explained to Katara what had happened that morning, from having met Sahi and Dasaro, to his talk with Edak and the other women. When he finished, Katara raised her head and looked at him right in the eye. She stayed like that for some moments before speaking.

“Don’t worry about it. They did it because they care for us,” she said, and then added, with what seemed a bit of annoyance in her voice. “I’ll talk with them myself and explain that I knew exactly what I was doing. That I went in the relationship knowing the consequences and that you didn’t mislead me.”

“I can help you with it. I mean, I think we both owe them an explanation,” Zuko suggested.

Katara shook her head.

“No. I need to have that talk with them by myself. They need to understand that I’m not some frail girl that falls in love and doesn’t know what to do,” she explained. “I understand why they were worried, but they didn’t ask me anything about it. They just talked with you instead!” Katara looked more frustrated than angry, but still Zuko understood her irritation. And he also understood why she needed to talk with the women alone. “It’s not that you can’t talk with them about it,” Katara added as an afterthought, “just let me do it first.”

Zuko smiled and nodded.

Then they kissed again and although things should have seemed more complicated than before, Zuko felt like he had been liberated.

* * *

Zuko was expecting for everything to start to hurt after that conversation, and it did.

They both talked on their own with Edak and the other women and, although they weren’t very content with their relationship, they more or less approved of it and didn’t tell them anything else.

Their daily routine didn’t change much after it. After lunch, Zuko went to Katara’s hut and they spent the rest of the day together. There was one thing that changed, though. Their topics of conversation expanded. They started talking again about Zuko’s real Fire Lord job back in the Fire Nation, as well as Katara’s past trips with Aang.

Every time Zuko was with Katara he remembered their fate. He also remembered when he was alone, or when he was sewing or playing with the kids. Nevertheless, he embraced that ache and used it to concentrate on his relationship with Katara, and also on his relationship with the rest of the Tribe.

Because he realised he wouldn’t only miss Katara, but the whole village. The children, the teenagers, the women he usually worked with, and even the men of the village, with which he had started to talk more often.

And while his days were bittersweet, that ache allowed him to be more present, and to value his stay at the South Pole.

Everything was suddenly much more important than it was before.

But Zuko couldn’t lie and say that that made everything better. Because it didn’t. He missed the days where he would wake up, think everything was right and have a mundane day, where nothing was too poignant or crucial.

He asked himself if he was really making the most of his time there and doubt crawled into his head every night just before falling asleep.

The only thing he could do was love Katara and feel her love for him coming from her.

Sometimes he found himself daydreaming about a possible life with Katara, and so he chastised himself for getting stuck on his own commiseration. Imagining something that could not happen would only make it hurt more, and it also made him waste his precious time in the Southern Water Tribe. But sometimes it was just inevitable.

He occasionally would imagine Katara living with him in the Fire Nation. He would imagine them getting married and her becoming his Fire Lady despite the opposition of all his Ministers. But Zuko would find a lot of drawbacks to that. For starters, the Fire Nation and his reign were still unstable, and his marriage to Katara would only make things worse. This could be forgotten for the sake of daydreaming, but it still was the tip of the iceberg of all the problems that would give them.

He would always have work to do, issues to handle and problems to solve. If he rarely had time for himself, he wouldn’t be able to give Katara all the time he wanted to give her and that she deserved. That’s why he hadn’t still gotten married, even if everybody in the Palace had started to suggest it. He had no time.

But the most important thing was the fact that Katara would be so far away from her home.

It wasn’t like she didn’t have a job in the Southern Water Tribe. She had a role as important as his was in the Fire Nation. She was the only Master Waterbender of the South Pole, a teacher, a healer and a leader of the Tribe.

Zuko had already realised, that day he first talked with the women, that he couldn’t ask her to leave with him. He didn’t want to even suggest it, because he would hate himself if she agreed. He knew he couldn’t be that selfish.

Because of all this, these types of daydreams were quite occasional.

Instead, he would usually imagine himself living in the South Pole, with Katara.

He liked to imagine that there wasn’t anything tying him to the Fire Nation, and that he was able to stay there and live a completely normal life. It was something incredibly easy to imagine, because he was already living something similar during his stay.

There was a very young couple – they hadn’t reached their twenties yet – that were planning their marriage for next spring. Zuko looked at them, in love and a whole life ahead of them, and envied them. He wished so deeply to have that with Katara.

But Zuko didn’t let himself to be absorbed in these daydreams for a lot of time. He knew the more he thought about them, the more they would hurt.

Sometimes, though, he would allow himself some time to contemplate how their life together could be. Getting married, living together, working for the Tribe, maybe travelling a bit, and then having children.

Since holding the title of Fire Lord, when he had thought about the topic of having children, he had reasoned it was best to not have a lot of them, as he wouldn’t be able to give them a lot of time because of his job. He had never thought he liked children much either.

But while in the South Pole, a place of full of kids, he had found out that he loved them. And when imagining an impossible life with Katara, he loved the idea of having a bunch of them with her.

All these thoughts and castles in the air would eventually hurt too much, so when he found himself daydreaming for too long, he would tell himself that the best he could do was to savour the moment he had been allowed to live: the opportunity to fall in love with Katara and the time to have some months with her.

That, usually, was enough for him.

One night, while in Katara’s hut, both engulfed by the warmth of each other and the furs of Katara’s bed, they talked about it. They didn’t allow themselves to raise their voices too much, scared a spirit could hear them, and whispered next to each other’s ear their desires of an impossible future. They were naked inside the bed, their limbs tangled, talking about the preparations for the imminent wedding of that young couple, when Zuko confessed.

“I wish we could get married.” Katara’s breath halted and, for a moment, Zuko was scared he had said too much. Soon, though, Katara whispered back.

“Me too.” Zuko thought the conversation would end there, too improper and bold even for them, but Katara continued talking and Zuko revelled in her words. “I wish you could stay here, just like now, and we could get a house together.” Zuko’s mouth was just near Katara’s cheek, and so he kissed her there. His lips didn’t move from her cheek and Katara didn’t stop speaking. “I love seeing you get dressed every morning in Water Tribe clothing.” Katara let out a small gasp, ashamed. “That sounds incredibly selfish, I’m sorry. You must miss the Fire Nation and wearing red clothes.”

“I do miss it, immeasurably,” Zuko said, smiling against her cheek. The Fire Nation would always be his home and red would always be his colour and they would always define his identity, but the comfort he’d had these past months and the softness the colour blue had given him were unforgettable. “But I understand.”

“I want you to stay here, just like this, forever,” she said. She hugged him more tightly, her fingertips squeezing his bare skin, and her voice was shaky. Zuko felt her tears in his mouth. “I want you in blue.”

Zuko didn’t answer because he didn’t know how. He could give no comfort to Katara, there were no words that would make it better. He hugged her more tightly too and buried his face in the crook of her neck.

Zuko was already half asleep when Katara shifted her head to look him in the eye.

Her voice carried a lucidity that would haunt Zuko for years to come.

“Please, don’t think of staying here. You need to return to the Fire Nation when the time comes.”

Just like him, she wasn’t able to ask him to stay there, just in case he would actually accept. They both felt selfish, but they knew they couldn’t ask the other to make a sacrifice, and they knew they couldn’t make it themselves either.

* * *

Days got longer, the sun started being visible for more than a few hours each day, time passed. The ache didn’t reduce, but it got easier. Each day without news from the Fire Nation felt like a blessing.

Eventually, Zuko started feeling nervous about the lack of news. He loved having more and more time in the Southern Water Tribe, but he also started thinking about how much time had actually passed.

He worried about Suki and the Kyoshi Warriors, and about his Ministers. He also fretted about the citizens of the Fire Nation and about how their lives had been since he’d last been there. He wondered if the last laws that had been implanted had been beneficial and if his Ministers had been doing a good job in his absence.

Most of all, he worried the group that had been trying to assassinate him had been bigger and stronger than they had previously anticipated. His thoughts were plagued about the possibility of a coup d’état, as he wasn’t there personally to protect his position.

Zuko didn’t let himself think for even one second about the fact that if a coup d’état had really happened, he would be completely free to live in the Southern Water Tribe.

As much as he loved his life in the South Pole, and as much as he had thought about leaving it all behind to start a life in the Southern Water Tribe with Katara, the Fire Nation was his land, and his upmost responsibility. He owed its citizens, and the whole world, all his ability to serve them until he couldn’t anymore. As much as he dreamed of living his whole life away from his Fire Lord responsibilities, he knew his job and his country was more important than any dream he could have as a person.

Katara tried to get him out of his worries, assured him that everything would be alright when he returned, but Zuko didn’t miss the sadness in her face as she said all of that. She knew she was starting to lose him, even if he was physically still there with her.

Their lives were incompatible, and that hurt them both to the core.

* * *

Ordinary days muddled together, but Zuko remembered each one clearly.

However, the one he ended up remembering the most was the day the hawk from the Fire Nation arrived.

That day, Zuko had spent the afternoon playing in the snow with some of the children just outside the village. Katara had had a meeting with the elders to discuss trade deals, and so they had agreed to meet for dinner.

It was, as usual, a dark afternoon, one that encouraged to stay inside near a warm fire. But the children had been bouncy the whole morning and so the adults had given in and let them go outside the village to play. Of course, an adult had had to accompany them, so Zuko had volunteered.

When they returned, all their clothes damp from playing in the snow, Katara was in the main square waiting for them, an official-looking scroll in her hands **.** Zuko recognized the wrapping and the seal even before he saw the pained expression in Katara’s face.

He approached her, the kids trailing behind him, and when he was just in front of Katara, she handed him the scroll.

“A hawk arrived with this letter,” she said, and quickly looked away from him.

Zuko decided to take back home all the children before even thinking of opening the letter. When he was alone, he thought of opening it on his own, in his hut, but decided against it. So he headed to Katara’s hut.

He knocked the door but entered without waiting for an answer. He had been doing it like this for some days, because Katara had given him the permission to do so.

Katara was preparing tea on the hearth and didn’t look up as he entered the place and approached her.

“Have you read it yet?” she asked when Zuko sat down in front of her, her voice hesitant and a bit flat.

“I haven’t,” Zuko answered. He had the scroll in his hands and was playing with the thread that sealed it.

“What are you waiting for?” Katara said, her gaze still concentrated on her task.

Zuko examined the sealing wax on it. It displayed two dragons intertwined with one another, which was the symbol of the Fire Nation Royal Family. He himself had used this type of seal so many times before, when sending official letters, but now it looked so foreign to him.

Then he opened the seal and unfurled the letter.

It was from Minister Zhou, Zuko quickly noted, and as he skimmed through it, Zuko picked up that the terrorist organization had been defeated and that a Fire Nation Royal Ship had been sent to bring him back to the Fire Nation.

Zuko then read the whole letter properly. The ship taking him back would arrive in two weeks.

“Well? Is it good news?” Katara said after some minutes. She had finished preparing the tea and was handing him a cup. Zuko grabbed it before responding.

“The operation was a complete success,” he said. He should have been ecstatic, but he simply felt deflated. “A ship taking me to the Fire Nation arrives in two weeks.”

The smile in Katara’s face wasn’t false, but it wasn’t real either.

“Congratulations,” she said.

* * *

If Zuko had thought the ache he’d felt before the letter had arrived was bad, he found the ache after it arrived excruciating. Katara and he spent even more time together, but it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.

Zuko understood that even a whole lifetime with Katara would never be enough for him to feel satisfied.

They didn’t talk much during these two weeks leading to the arrival of the ship, and Zuko wasn’t exactly sure why.

Words hurt and, at first, silence seemed easier to deal with. It appeared that, although some weeks ago they never run out of things to tell the other, they had nothing to say now.

But, at the end of the day, silence hurt as much as words.

They resorted to actions and looks to communicate what they couldn’t say out loud anymore and so they spent the majority of their time together cuddling, hugging and making love.

Only in the darkest times of the night, they dared to speak. They talked into each other’s ear, and the majority of their conversations consisted of whispers of declarations of love.

The ‘I-love-you’s were quite shallow, Zuko had to admit. The words were real and honest, but of what real use were they? As much as they loved each other, nothing could be done about the inevitable. The Fire Nation Royal Ship would arrive, sooner or later.

The night before the ship would arrive, the village threw a feast just like the one they held the night he arrived.

It had been more than four months since that day, and Zuko felt like a totally changed man and he had come to really love the place.

When he had arrived, everything in the Southern Water Tribe seemed strange and he had felt out of place. Even in his Water Tribe clothes, he felt like a speck of red in a white and blue landscape.

But as time passed, he had grown accustomed to the scenery, the people, the food and the traditions of the place. He was still red, always would be, but he felt he fit like that red fire of the day of the Festival did.

Everybody said goodbye to him in advance and he received a lot of gifts.

The children gave him some necklaces and other types of accessories that they had made themselves. From the adults, he received some clothes, blankets, and even the set of needles he had used to sew during his stay.

Kosok made a long speech, some kids cried and even a few of the women did too.

Katara didn’t gift him anything, and Zuko was thankful. It would be difficult to deal with their separation as it was, he was afraid an object from her would just make it worse. It would only serve as a constant reminder of her and, after all, it wasn’t like he would be able to forget her even without an object.

But it wasn’t only that, because Katara said nothing to him the whole night.

Zuko was used to her silence when they were alone by now, but it was surprising to see her acting the same when they were around other people. She wasn’t only not talking to him, but it also seemed like she was avoiding him altogether and, even if Zuko wanted to understand why she did it, he couldn’t. Because he was missing her even if they were still in the same place.

Zuko spent the night in Katara’s hut, like usual, and they didn’t say much.

But when, together inside her bed, naked and sweaty despite the cold outside of the furs, their breaths laboured and their arms wrapped all around the other, Zuko looked into Katara’s eyes. Even though she looked serene and composed, her eyes were full of wistfulness and despair, and they seemed to be screaming at Zuko. They were telling him, begging even, “please, don’t leave”.

Zuko understood then why Katara wasn’t talking. If she spoke, she would have to say what her eyes were telling him, and everything would be more difficult than it already was.

So maybe it was better that way.

* * *

They didn’t sleep a lot that night, so when he had to get up that morning, Zuko didn’t know if the day felt like a new day or just like a continuation of the previous one.

The first thing he did was go to his own hut to pack the few things he had brought with him from the Fire Nation and all the gifts he had received the night before. When he exited the hut and headed to the main square, he was surprised to see all the Tribe waiting for him there.

It turned out that the Fire Nation ship had already arrived and so the entire village accompanied him to the harbour to see him off.

In the future, Zuko wouldn’t remember much of that moment, the memory too foggy in his mind.

He said goodbye to everyone in the Tribe. He said goodbye to the children he’d gone fishing with, to Katara’s waterbending students, to the teenagers he’d caught drinking some nights, to the women he’d sewed with, to the men he’d sometimes talked with and to the elders that had been against him staying in the Tribe at first.

A lot of people cried, but Zuko couldn’t be sure if he was one of them.

Katara hugged him, maybe more tightly and longer than what was deemed appropriate to do in front of other people, but neither of them cared. 

“Goodbye, Zuko,” she whispered in his ear, her arms still encircling him. Her voice wobbled only a bit.

“Goodbye, Katara,” he said back. He tried to not pay attention to the ache in his chest and the quivering of his inner fire in his stomach.

Zuko felt numb and everything at the same time and, when they separated, Katara averted her eyes.

And that was it.

That was the end.

Their story ended just like that.

* * *

It was noon, the sun the warmest and highest it would be that day, when Zuko boarded the Fire Nation Royal Ship. He had forgotten a boat could be that big.

From the deck, he waved goodbye to the villagers for the last time while the crew weighed anchor and the ship left the harbour.

Zuko stayed there, unmoving, the wind hitting his face, until much after the Southern Water Tribe stopped being visible from the ship, watching the vast sea before him.

Zuko was used to the sea. After all, he had lived in a ship for a long three years of his life. The sea had a strong smell, like usual, and it had a deep blue colour.

And, although that day the sea was calm, the movement of the ship stirred the water around it, turning it into white foam.

From the railing, Zuko looked at the blue and white below him and ruminated.

It would be a long journey to the Fire Nation, but Zuko wasn’t in a hurry.

This voyage would be the last opportunity to wallow in his memories before he inevitably would be rushed back to work. Once he arrived at the Fire Nation, he’d have to forget his stay in the Southern Water Tribe because it would no longer be appropriate to live in daydreams of an impossible live there.

He had lived in the South Pole just for some months, but it seemed like a lifetime had passed. The memory of Katara was clear on the inside of his eyes and it seemed that if he focused enough on it, he would see her just in front of him.

Zuko tried to not think much about it, but the hope of returning there clawed its way in his mind. Was there a possibility of that happening? Was it possible that, for some reason, Zuko could be a man free of his responsibilities and free to go anywhere? He felt selfish to even think about it, but even so he granted himself the permission to contemplate the possibility until he arrived at the Fire Nation.

And he tried to promise himself that, once he arrived there, he would forget everything about his stay in the Southern Water Tribe.

However, deep down, he knew that was pointless, and that, even if it would make things worse for him, he would never be able to stop loving Katara and his time at the South Pole.

* * *

It wasn’t until he undressed to sleep that night, that Zuko realised that he was still wearing his Water Tribe clothes, and that he would never wear them again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it. I hope you liked reading this as much as I liked writing it!
> 
> Originally this was meant to be the first part of a longer fic, but when I started writing it, I decided to split it in two independent works of a same series. The reason behind this decision is that both parts had very different plots, location, themes and pace, and, especially this one, could stand on its own and didn't feel incomplete.  
> The second part is still in the works, so it will be a while until I post it.  
> But, as I said, this can be considered a finished work on its own and doesn't need a continuation per se.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!


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